Experienced Life
2019-06-12 05:40:25 (UTC)

You know when you have anxiety

You know if you're having anxiety issues when you wake up and that ever so familiar fear and anxiety slams back into you head a minute after you wake up. Funny how the mind is. You know it's all in your head. You know all those feelings are derived inside you and you have control over what you feel. Yet, all those smarts and it still hits you.

I wake up. Pretty refreshed and feeling good. I ate right last night Nothing to drink. Body has that normal feeling of recovering from the crossfit class the night before. All good stuff. Then unconsciously, that wave of anxiety hits me. That realization that I will need surgery and that knowledge of not be with my ex gf hits me again. All controlled by my mind. Yet, I'm struggling to control it.

One small good thing about it is it's helping me keep my weight down. I'm at 153 lbs this morning. I supposed to be 160 like I've said many times before. I broke that barrier when I hit 155. I noticed when I was 155, I can fly at the gym. I can only imagine what 150 would do for me. I forgot my good gloves at work so I used thes other gloves that makes the back of my hand itchy yesterday. Guess what? The back of my hand now itches. haha. I just used it once dang it. No worries, the doctor gave me a cream for peeps that are allergic to certain types of gloves so I'll just use some of that.

Anyway, I hope this anxiety and depression goes away soon. I have too much to do in life to live like this. Sigh.....

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