Last night was the first night daddy and I did not talk before bed. I keep telling myself it is no big deal stuff happens but on a deep level it is bothering me. That is a ritual we have and for it to just be broken hurts. I think it may have been in response to me not answering a question daddy asked me. He asked if we were besties but we are not. I don't make it a habit of lying and get very uncomfortable when someone wants to hear something and I know the answer I have is not what they want. So I shut down and I think that led to daddy needing to not talk to me because he was angry.
We are not besties. We are partners and that is more. I don't share this part of me with anyone but daddy simple as that.
I just got off the phone with daddy and not talking last night was because he thought I was tired and wanted to listen to my podcast. I learned a valuable lesson, I could have saved a lot of headache/ heartache for myself if I would have just answered daddy honestly and not clammed up worrying about every possible reaction to my answer. I have to trust I am a good person and not everyone is going to hold my thoughts/ answers against me.
Next hurdle . . . I have a punishment coming for violating several rules twice. This is going to hurt. But, I know I deserve it and I am looking forward to learning the lesson and moving on.