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2019-06-09 23:47:46 (UTC)


Suspenders had short hair. Groomed and brown with some dirty blonde in there. Blue eyes and a sense of humor. Its how I remember him when I first met him.
I remember, and this is how it was at first, he had only come up to adjust the floor plan and show his trainees how everything worked.
After the training, the reasons changed. I remember he would go out of his way to hear me laugh. He found out one day that I was jumpy so one of his developing and favorite games was 'see how long I can stand behind her before she notices' or ' can she feel me breathing and blowing on her neck'.
I would be lying if I said that his attention hadn't made me feel special.
He had a way in private of saying how the reason he didn't use hands at work is because it is unprofessional. I understood that. Him not touching yet having the effect he had was intense. He looked for me while I would be working. If I was walking guests to a table, he would peek through the plants and watch me. He stared intensely just so I was the only one who would notice. I'm sure wandering eyes could see us and if they did, they would see the goofy smile and laugh I had to compose while remaining as professional as I could. He frequently asked when I would become a server and I started the count down.
That clique vibe seperated us for awhile. It made it difficult between him and I because there was a slight and real attraction between us. When I thought about him, I forgot the pain. I forgot the guy who just hurt me. It was almost like it didn't matter. I still saw my ex and tried to have a healthy relationship all while enjoying suspender's work company. That was wrong, to me anyway. I remember a few weeks had gone by and it was the end of the month.
Tuesday the 27th. I had come in to work and another host had asked me to pick up her shift that night. She later brought me a coffee to make up for the favor. I did not enjoy the taste. Suspenders came up eventually and I told him he could have it. He took it eagerly and said to me that he owed me a drink. He talked about it on and off and we were both double shifts that night so it came up a few times throughout the day. He left the building that night and I asked a server for his number. A host asking for a server's number was pretty straightforward but the age gap between him and I probably didn't have people concerned.
I had texted him and told him I was his conscience. I told him that he needed to stop picking on the hosts. He knew who I was and it was playful for the few messages that night. Wednesday I worked a lunch shift and Thursday is double shift day. On the way to my car Thursday night, as I'm getting in my car, suspenders invites me to a restaurant where there is a party for another server. People all over the restaurant were going to be there so him inviting me wasn't too personal. I accepted the invite and said I would be late. I went to my apartment to change. My on and off boyfriend was playing video games when I came home. I was 15 minutes. He didn't notice me. I basically had his blessing to have fun. I remember driving to the restaurant and meeting up with the birthday girl and suspenders. They are good friends. I was the first to arrive. We got a round of beer to start us and then she asked when he went to the bathroom who I might've had a thing for. I explained I didn't really know anyone but suspenders had my eye for a second. She indulged me and said he was the kind of guy who never does relationships. He wasn't seeing anyone and it would be interesting but cute to see where it goes between him and I.
Night goes on and more people showed up. A few ladies gave me liquid confidence and a push from the girls room. I met him outside. I told him I am usually extremely shy and never do this, but I wanted to get to know him as a person and I don't know what that entails but I was interested. He said I was the most adorable thing and he didn't see why not.

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