Big weird coincidence
Tonight was weird. I went to the drive in with my buddies. There are 5 ror 6 screens in this drive in. Maybe about 60 cars per movie. So the chances of meeting a friend is pretty slim. Also, going to the concession stand for 10 min make it ever harder for you to bump into someone you may know. Yet....
As I walk in to the concession stand to pee, get popcorn, etc, etc. I walk right past my ex gf. Holy shit!!!!!!! We see each other and maybe I may have already rehearsed this but I was not going to be a needy decrepid needy person. I just said hi. Then I asked what movie she was watching She said she has her boy and was watching Pets 2 I think. I said I was watching the X men movie. I checked her out and she looked good as far as weight gain so I told her she looked good. She responded that I looked good too. Hell yeah! Of course I do. I've been working out during and after our breakup. I lost even more than my ideal weight of 160 lbs. I weighed probably around 153 lbs.
So now I'm home. somewhat mixed feelings. Not crying or down really. Just confused. My heart and mind is unsure of what to think. I just know that the ex gf if she wanted to could contact me. If she wanted. But she hasn't so I won't do anything stupid like chase her. My value is way too important for me to just fuck up. I'm an email, call, even snail mail away. If she wanted to, it'd be too easy for her to contact me.
So I will once again suck it up. I created my life and the great things accomplished was done by me. I know I'm not in the most ideal place. I know I'm a little depressed. I know I'm a little scared. But I do know that I can trust myself. I have lived my life as best I could. I have so many things accomplished and grateful for. My self worth is valuable to me. I am in control of my life. I"m free to make my choices in life.
One day, maybe not today, there will be someone in my life that will rock my world. Today is not that day.Today is just a little setback. Today is a reminder of my past failures and for me to move on and to do even better. I think I know and I thing I got this.
Love yourself as much as you'd love someone else. That's the few mottos I recall and that I try to live by :)
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