Submissive Thoughts
2019-06-06 13:02:06 (UTC)


I am struggling today. Monday I got my shots and so this week I have been feeling pretty crappy. It is like a roller coaster one minute I am feeling ok the next I am so weak, dizzy and nauseous I wish I were dead. Right now though, I need to be reassured of my place so bad. Rationally, I know the big Kahuna is giving me my space to heal. But that voice in my head is driving me crazy, you know the one the one that says I did something wrong and he is mad or he is looking elsewhere UGH. I know it is just a combo of drop and my shots but damn. I'm anxious, want to cry, feel guilty ( for no reason), am depressed. It is going to be a long day. If I did not have to go out I would curl in bed and stay there. #thestruggleisreal