I do this to myself. I think...
Ad 2:
2019-05-25 18:01:16 (UTC)


The concert is tonight. You would think I would be a little more excited. I don't feel as excited as I thought I would. And I'm slightly disappointed. What's wrong with me? I feel very off today. Maybe I need to get off. We had some fun last night..and then again this morning. But Last night, I don't think it was a very strong O. However, this morning...there was none. I need one. Maybe that's what's wrong. I need to perk up cus I don't want it to ruin our night. I know it will. I can't even pretend, cus he knows me better than that. Tonight is supposed to be mostly for him. As part of his birthday gift. Partly for me for mothers day...we are going out to dinner beforehand. But.. I don't know.. maybe it's because I'm tired. I woke up at 6:30 this morning for some reason. I mean... come on. I am kid free and I'm waking up that early? -eye roll-. It's slightly irritating.
We slept in separate beds again last night. I'm hoping this isn't going to become the norm. As nice as it is to have a huge bed to myself. I ended up going into the living room with him after I woke up and snuggled with him in bed.
I suppose maybe I should be getting ready to go out this evening instead of laying here on the bed and basically saying nothing.
I'd love a nap. Maybe I'll just get shitfaced tonight. And pass out before I have to go back to my moms tomorrow and get the baby back. I wouldn't mind sleeping alone tonight. Maybe I'll get the king sized bed tonight. =) That would be kinda nice.
No negative thoughts. I don't want to relive any of them right I'm trying to push them away. I honestly need this night to go as smoothly as possible. We never get out alone together like this often enough. But...that's okay. We are basically broke right now so it would be stupid to do something like that, right?
Normally..yes. So we will just go with that.
Farewell to those of you that might be reading this. If I'm not too drunk when I get back to his place tonight, maybe I'll update and fill myself in on what happened. If not, I'll do my best to do that tomorrow. And then I will spill a bit about what's been going on.