xdrix

me.
2019-05-24 16:49:56 (UTC)

my letter to you

Sometimes I miss you. It sucks because I have dreams about you and I tell you things in my dream that I wish I could tell you in person. You have a career now, and you're always busy. I want to see you again, just to catch up like old times. We had our laughs and we went on amazing adventures, something I wish I could relive again.
I remember when you used to treat me like shit, but I was so blinded by love I disregarded everything you put me through. I miss you as a friend, despite everything we've been through you were a good one.
You were my first real boyfriend, and I should've treated you better. I was your first everything, first kiss, first girlfriend, I was the one who took your virginity. The way I spoke to your mom wasn't great, but what do you expect? honestly I was always nervous. But fuck, do you ever think of something that you've done way back then and you cringe of embarrassment? Everytime I think about the conversations I had with your mother I just fucking cringe so hard.
I remember all the hurtful things you said about me, I felt like a fucking toy to you. When you left me I realized you never really loved me as much as I loved you, maybe you were rushing into a relationship because you were about to turn 18. You were really smart but sometimes you acted like a fucking dumbass.
I remember the night in your car I asked you if you still loved me, and your response was "I don't know." I had an instinct you started talking to someone else, and my heart sank into my ass. I would bawl my eyes out and when my father asked me what was wrong with me I would always tell him I didn't want to start over with anyone else.
How fucking stupid I was.
I found someone new, and I felt like it was love at first sight.
He is the most amazing man I've ever met, every time Im with him I get butterflies.
I met him at school, when I saw him walk down the hallway, I melted. He is so handsome and has such a beautiful smile. He has never changed since the first day I've met him. We've been together for 2 years so far, and you're not in a relationship. You always told me I was a whore and that I was never going to last in a relationship. Isn't that fucking ironic?
Sometimes I miss you, but I have to let you go.
I forgive you.




Ad: