Coasting Through Life
Memories: Early Childhood
What we remember of days gone by depends primarily upon both the length of time that has passed and the significance of the event. Other factors, such as those mentioned in the synaptic pruning theory and particularly the ability of the mind to recall information based upon association, should be considered. That being said, I will endeavor to recall various events in my life that have likely contributed to who I am today.
My earliest memory took place at a daycare center in the small town that I grew up in. I remember that it had a playground with lots of grass, a few trees, and a large tractor tire filled with soil and flowers in the middle. I remember making the conscious decision to pee my pants at the end of recess because I knew that if I went inside to use the bathroom, I wouldn't get to play those last few minutes outside. I remember naptime mats and watching one of those early 80's cartoons.
The next early memory I have took place at what was once my grandmother's house. I'm not sure how old I was, but I was certainly no more than a toddler. I'm not sure whether I should explain things as I remember them or whether I should fill in gaps with my knowledge and understanding of today. I remember playing outside in the huge grass in front of the house in this very secluded country area. I remember wanting to come inside so that I could poop. I remember coming to the front door to open it and one of my uncle's telling me that I couldn't come in, to go back out and play. I remember that I was upset and pooped my pants. As I said before, I'm not sure whether I should fill in the gaps based on modern knowledge. For example, looking back, I'm quite sure that two of my uncles were likely smoking weed inside and didn't want me to come in because of that, but that's just circumspection. Also, I have no idea where my mom was during this event, if I was being babysit or something else. Needless to say, I'm also guessing that this was a traumatic experience for me, likely because I'd already been potty trained and didn't want to defecate on myself. Regardless, this one of the few memories I have prior to the age of 5 and we don't get to choose what we remember. Or do we? They always talk about repressed memories in all the thriller and psychological movies, but I think this is just a case of the synaptic pruning. I only have these two memories because my brain was still developing and had to focus on learning and remembering other things.
Of note, I have MANY memories of age 5 and beyond and many of them are quite humorous. They will appear in my next journal post; probably tomorrow.