Listening to a new life coach
I found another life coach on youtube and he is good. New info that the others haven't covered yet. Yeah, it's about dealing with a breakup. I want to make sure nothing is hiding deep down in my head somewhere. Anyway, he discussed something that not many spoke of before. He described and explained about getting dumped. It was so good and made me think.
He said that not having your girlfriend anymore may not be the pain and suffering you are going through. You pain might be because of the "loss" and that I lost the power or control since I was dumped. That is why I am hurting. He said that the breakup may be a blessing that I don't see. He said that if by some chance I go back with her, I would still face the problem we had. At the moment, I'm dealing with the pain of the loss of power. But should that subside if by some miracle we got back, the same problem we had would still be there.
As far as that problem, it's because my ex gf was cold. She wasn't much into affection really. She confessed a few times that it wasn't the first time she heard that before. She was weeping a little that night when we were in bed talking about it. She had a self realization that she was cold. Not just not affectionate but cold. I remember that night. She knew her faults and she even said she'd try. That problem was already there for her. She knew it and she couldn't change herself. I didn't ask her to change. It was an issue she was aware of and it was up to her to fix if she wanted to. Well, I guess I know now that she wasn't able to shake off that issue.
Which leads me to raise my eyebrows with what this life coach was saying. Once I get that pain of loss. Loss of my power since I didn't have that choice of being with her or not anymore. Understanding the loss, it now makes it more clearer than it ever had. I now know that I do deserve someone better. I have to say deep in my head that I was still feeling that I am now the worthless pile of shit. Now I see things if a different view. It's fantastic to realize. I do and want someone who will love me just as much and this last one was not the one.
I don't know if I'll ever find someone but another coach does say that just because you can't see past the horizon in a sea, it doesn't mean there are no other boats in the ocean. It's just that you can't see any just now. I learned that one months ago :)
So as I type this stuff in bed, still needing my first cup of coffee, I can smile knowing life isn't so bad even with all my issues going on. I think I have a few more steps in me. I feel like I got my second wind. Rock on!!!!