Experienced Life
2019-04-23 11:45:04 (UTC)

I may have done something stupid.

Well, today started off with great weather. Walking to the building next door there are beatuful trees, nice blue skies, with some white clouds and the sun shining but not hot at all. I'm working but I for some reason feel good. Dumb ass moment for me though. I did something that may have been stupid. I sent flowers to my ex gf telling her happy birthday. Belated since it's been a month or two but I did it. Actually, I placed the order and she is getting it at her work place tomorrow. Was it stupid? Probably but my heart means no harm so I don't care.

I didn't put my name as the sender but I do recall she saying no one ever sends her flowers at her work so I'm sure she'll know it's still from me. She probably won't even send any sort of thanks or even reply because I don't exist in her life anymore and I can live with that. I need to make sure or at least try not to have any ill will towards anyone especially people in my past. Th ex wife? Well, that is work in progress so I need to work on that for now.

To be honest, I'm also thinking of unfriending my ex gf too. I don't see the purpose of it anymore. It is a one time thing and no going back after that. I hear from some self help youtube peeps that it shows a sign that I'm weak. Maybe maybe not. I just think Facebook friends should be exactly that. Facebook friends that you socialize with from time to time. My ex gf and I haven't spoken since.... I don't even know when. Sometime last year maybe? As far as texting or email? Again, that too has been awhile. So I sort of don't see being fb friends with her anymore. I'm leaning towards just ending it with no ill will. Just a life thing and just to move on with life thing. I think that's kind of why I may have sent her flowers. A little thing to maybe say goodbye in my mind.