Scream Above the Sounds
Ad 2:
2019-04-21 01:55:36 (UTC)

Holiday Blues

I say 'holiday blues', I still have another week. I don't really have any plans, I've been spending a bit of time with one of my best friends but he goes back to work tomorrow so I won't see him until the end of May now probably. The only thing that's really keeping me going at the moment is Game of Thrones, can't wait for that tomorrow night. I was thinking of maybe resubbing to WoW again but I think I'll likely hold on until the next major patch content. It's so blatantly obvious how empty my life is when I'm not playing it and that makes me sad. Partially sad because the game is in such a bad place but also very sad because it shows that I'm a bit unstable without it I guess. Not that it's an addiction, it was just quite integral and I played it on and off for about 14-15 years now. There's a massive void in my life when I'm not playing it, it was always a very good time sink and stopped me from overthinking.

The weather has been amazing the last day or two, it's a shame that I don't have many outgoing friends. I'd ask Louise to do stuff but she's usually pretty busy, I tend to wait until she comes to me. I don't really want to pester her either. We went running on Thursday which was pretty fun. We haven't ran together since January which is pretty shameful from both of us. It was a great day for it though and we spent some time with friends later in the night. Played some Smash Ultimate and some ping pong, it was decent. I don't know, I'm looking forward to going back to college and actually having some structure again. My body clock is pretty messed up, it's 2am as I write this. I'm just watching some Counter-Strike tournament and eating an easter egg, I'm such a catch.

My parents have been quite busy, renovating their bedroom. My sister and her boyfriend are moving house too I think, possibly on the same street where I lived with my ex girlfriend. The flats there are quite nice and it'll be closer to my parents so I think they will be happy with that. I think I overheard my mum say that the place was furnished too, so maybe I'll get my double bed back. Woo. Little victories. I don't really know what my sister is up to these days, we haven't been close in about 16 years. We're extremely disconnected. She seems happy though and her boyfriend seems like a good guy. I think they live quite a drug fuelled lifestyle though. They would probably fit right in if they lived on the street me and my ex did, it constantly stunk of weed there.

I regret napping earlier, I'm wide awake and have no idea what I'm gonna do now. I had been talking to a friend about resubbing to WoW but I'm not gonna do that yet, I don't feel the urge or the itch, not yet. I should probably make an effort to do some assignments and maybe be ahead of the curve for once. I tend to leave everything until the last few days and then blitz it. I need to finish my smoking/cancer assignment, as well as two social science assignments and an English past paper. Maybe I'll do it tomorrow. I have no plans from now until I go back, I'll likely keep the fitness going and maybe look at some new shows to watch. I still need to watch Ricky Gervais 'After Life', I feel like I mentioned that last time and still haven't bothered. I'll continue to watch this tournament for now, I enjoy watching MIBR (Made in Brazil).

I guess that's it for me this morning. I do want to try and write more but lately I just feel like everything is so bland, I don't really have anything to talk about. I guess that's a somewhat good thing though. Everything isn't so haunting, so depressing, so toxic. It's easy to write and deconstruct things, I struggle to write when things are content or even just stagnating. It's when life is truly in the pits that I come alive.


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