WickedScript

Letters to My Ex
2019-04-19 21:03:10 (UTC)

April 7th

Dear David Alexander,
I feel like I’ve gotten prettier since I left you. My hair is curlier. I’m the same size but I feel like I look smaller. I’m suddenly photogenic. I see self in he mirror and for the first time in a while, I like what I see. And it’s weird for me. I’m used to feigning confidence when I walk but I’m starting to feel real confidence.
For the past month and a half my anxiety has just gone. This may seem like a good thing but it’s not. My depression kicked in so much that it drowned out my anxiety. And with that, it also took out the voice that made me think before acting. It’s like those 90’s tv shows with the angel and the devil on the person’s shoulders. The angel was gone and the devil was telling me to go for t. Long ass angry text about how you hurt me? Sent. Angry Facebook post about you breaking into my house? Posted.
I have felt so numb. So empty. So devout of any and all emotions. But today, I felt anxious. I went out by myself and I felt anxious. That people would be judging me for going to the movies by myself. It was surprisingly nice to feel that again. To remember that I’m not invincible and even more so that I’m not invisible. I also felt extreme happiness today. When I woke up to see his name on my screen.
So how did I make it to the movies by myself? Well it started with me getting an oil change. Then I went to the shopping plaza for the Bob’s clearance sale. And it just felt so nice to be out. I spent so much time in bed waiting for you to text me. I felt like I needed your permission to go out. If I went out without you knowing and you tried to reach me? I wasn’t answering because, in your eyes, I was probably sleeping with some other guy.
You think Jake cared that I went to the movies alone? You think he secretly thought I was meeting up with some strange guy? No. He encouraged me. He trusts me. And it felt so good to be out there. To not be in bed waiting for a text message. And I got movie theater popcorn and some delicious food from Wendy’s.
And tomorrow, I’m going over jakes house. We’re gonna play board games or card games or whatever and just hang out. My mom already calls him my boyfriend. She and my aunt believe that we’ll have a quick relationship and somehow be married within a year or two. Or at least engaged. And while I think that’s moving a bit fast for a relationship that hasn’t started yet I want to know how that makes you feel. Knowing I’m with your worst enemy.
How does it feel knowing that I am walking around hotter than ever and you are sleeping with trailer trash. You are sleeping with everybody’s ex-gf, the sloppy seconds of the entire town. I pity you David. Karma is clearly a bitch and I guess her name is Casey.




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