Wr1tt3n0ne

Bunches and bunches
2019-04-14 02:41:52 (UTC)

Why Is Companion a Cuss Word?

There is one most important person in my life. A few big players but one who just completely is integral to who I am. The cliche is true, I married him. And why I did is simple, he's my companion. I hate the way in English that sounds like he's my ever loyal dog. Companion is such a sorry word int his culture. Lover is so sexy and companion is the spork at the table. You are supposed to emote over finding the ONE , the love of your life, that passion, blah, blah, blah. You want to know why I get out bed in the morning? It isn't for love, or even passion, phenomenal sex, or art even. It's because I have someone to be there for and who will be there for me. It's simple, sure, but so basic that seems like everyone discounts it to the Dollar Store of Life. Life is a slog, like an eternal shift at the factory where you get to rest but never leave. The pictures of the the early factories with the hordes of poor men swarming them when the whistle blew, that's Life, with the capital "L." And knowing there is one person who supports me all the way into my surreal dreams and back to life on a farm, or oil rig, or beach, that's all I need. I have i only one person int he world who I do not hesitate to be my nasty mean self with or my vulnerable broken self with and that's my husband. I am uncensored, for better at times and definitely for the worse at others, but I get to just be me and somehow that crazy f*ck still yet loves me. I dunno which pill he picked, but I wish the rest of the g*dd*mned world would down it, too.

Companionship is about time and I value time more than just about anything else. It can be excruciating, like torn ligament electric pain with shock on its' heels, or it can be too slow, like when your sweetheart tells you he doesn't love you, or it can be crushingly quick like when you just held your baby and now she's screaming how she hates you ( a lie, but still...). A companion is why you get up when you no longer give a f*ck about yourself and you're defeated down to your essence. Companionship is everything I never knew I couldn't live without, all the color in my life. I hate that you say companion to someone and they discount it. Let me share with you my hierarchy, number one far and away is ....Companion! Imagine someone to grow old with, laugh with and fall in and out of love with, bind together in marriage, family and life with and you start to see my point. And I still see him like he's in his twenties, still the young man I met who knew it was me before he knew my middle name.

Nothing and no one has changed that for me over the intervening 17 or so odd years. What I fear is him going before me. I would probably crack up. I've got great friends and support, even family I love, but he's just a different kind of beast. He's mine in a world that never lets you keep anything, so each day I get to have coffee with him, do the f*ckin' laundry with him and cuddle his warmth out of him in my bed, well, that is being blessed. So dear readers, I'm off to put my cold feet on his warm ones and fall asleep smiling. May the world's companions live on forever!




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