Experienced Life
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2019-04-08 20:02:59 (UTC)

Today's agenda

Went to work. Got a lot done as usual. Going to be busy in the next couple of weeks. I have a project that I'm not too good at and I have to get it done. Job is still fun. After that, I hit my crossfit class. Easy peasy. My clique were there so I was comfy with the group. Coach is nice to me too so she is cool and know about my injuries. Nice that she always checks on me.

Got home. Took a break. Made dinner and having a glass of wine. I ran the dishwasher and a load of clothes. So most of my house duties are done. I didn't have to deal with my roomie much. She was watching tv and I left her alone. She leaves a mess. Not because she means to make a mess but she forgets she made the mess. She doesn't know how to run the dishwasher so it just piles up. But that's ok. No biggie really.

Next truck project is to hook up my extra fusebox. Instead of all these wires connecting to my battery, I bought an extra fusebox and have to get that set up. It's looking good. Very pretty. haha. Looks badass really. Gott be a guy thing I guess. I measured my under dash led. kit cables. There are four lights. Two for the driver side and passenger side under dash lights. Two for under the back seats. But it won't be long enough for the backseats I think. So I ordered more cable and will have to splice the wiring to extend it so it can run alongside the truck and back under the seats near the back. I called the installer last night and he quoted me 200 bucks to get some wiring done. Screw that!!! I'll just do it myself. Won't have much time to do it but I'll get it done.

So about my life? I dunno. I've been chatting with my ex wife. Texting actually. She had another surgery done I think. It's for her back pain. I don't know exactly what they did but she is headed home I think. Or at least that's the bullshit story she is conjuring up and telling me. Can't believe anything she says or does. I don't know if this type of communication with her is good for my soul. She did a lot of bad things to me in the past. I know I'm supposed to forgive and forget but she really really did a lot of bad things to me. I don't know if I should let this happen.

I have mixed feelings about some paperwork I did for her. I had to notarize some docs indicating that my son isn't bioligically mine and that I'm willing to let him change his name and change the name of the birth certificate to reflect the really bio-dad. FYI, if you haven't been reading my past posts, my Son isn't biologically mine. My wife at the time was fooling around and that other dude was the bio dad. I of course didn't know till much later in life. When I found out, I was of course devastated. My Son didn't know. He's 13 now so I'm thinking he does know now. Don't worry, this is all old news and it happened a long time ago. The only new news is that she wants me to sign that declaration for the name change and the name change on the birth certificate. Funny thing is she thinks she can get more Social Security out of it because his bio-dad passed away. She (ex) thinks she'll get more SS but she is wrong. I checked with a friend and she is already getting the max SS from the 1st daughter she had with him. Oh well, not my problem.

How about my other thoughts and feelings? I dunno that too. I'm staying as positive as I can. My body is banged up but I look ok physically. Keeping my weight and toned in shape. Must not be good enough because I'm not getting dates or anything. No accidental bumping into the love of my life or anything like that. I'm smart. I know what's happening around me and I know what it means when I feel certain things and why. Still, it would be nice to get a hug from time-to-time.

I'm booked for a wine bus tour this Saturday. Going to the Amador wineries. Should be nice. Wine tasting is always nice though :) I've been invited to Church this Wed night for a men's gathering thing. Don't know what exactly. I don't know crap about being in they Church. I smile mostly and be polite. I listen to the sermon and try my best to follow their words because I believe in it. I just suck at following it. Trying but suck at it.

Funny thought popped into my head. The last time I went out with my ex gf while we were still considered boyfriend-girlfriend was around mid July of last year. We had a time out and shit but last July was the last time we went out. That means in just over 3 months, it'll be a year since we last made love. huh..... Not sure what that makes me feel really. In some ways, I miss the intimacy. In other ways, I'm glad it's over because she was not the love of my life. Then again, I feel it's better than my ex wife. haha. I don't fucking know what to think or do. I don't know what the right choices are right now. I know I can't be depressed. I can't be sad. I can't live in the negatives of life. I need to move onward. UP or down, I need to keep moving.

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