Licorice ♥

Accountability Expression
2019-04-05 20:49:37 (UTC)

New Beginnings + Introductions

Hello. This is the start of my online diary, I suppose. I've never really been that good with keeping these things up but some changes have come about in my life I wish to keep track of. My life may be boring or interesting to those who read this, I don't know, but it doesn't matter.

Introductions first.

I'm a female, turning eighteen this month on the nineteenth. I enjoy writing and languages, looking at the world with an open mind for what it has in store, and times long passed. It's all trivial but I'm sure I'll be writing here frequently and it'll pop up anyway. I'm considered mature for my age and always have been, both physically and mentally, which has stirred some trouble up in my younger years for whatever reason I'm unsure of. Perhaps I was afraid to grow up, but I highly doubt it.

I've recently gotten out of a relapse that has had me in its clutches for some time now although perhaps not nearly as long as others. I have Anorexia Nervosa. One of the troubles that had sprung itself upon me and gave my life and identity ruin. Around the month of March has been my 4th year with this illness, as of this very moment, where my life was not even something you can possibly consider an actual "life."

I have only relapsed twice; as both attempts of my recovery had been purely quasi but began with good intentions. As of now, I don't wish to think my recovery now is heading down the same path as I simply cannot care anymore about my rituals - even if some things bug me yet. I'll never know right now for sure.
Maybe this will be a sort of accountability for me.

As of now, I'm 106 lbs, 5'10", from a prior 93 lbs.
I'm still very frail yet, and the only 'quasi' thing I can think of is my fear of no longer being that frail, sick human, as my identity had only been that. I'll keep updating my mental progress through these times, however long it may take.

I'll add more as the entries come.




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