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2019-04-04 23:53:40 (UTC)

"In Circles" by Sunny ..

"In Circles" by Sunny Day Real Estate [I think mid-era Brand New must've been heavily influenced by this band]

Meet me there
In the blue
Where words are not
Feeling remains
Ooh I dream to heal your wounds
But I bleed myself
Well I bleed myself

(Well I go) in circles (running down)
In circles (I'm running down)
In circles (running down)
In circles (running down)

April 4, 2019 Thursday 11:55 PM

I felt so refreshed Monday, and happy to be back in work-mode, but then I was immediately sick by Tuesday evening and then I had a low-grade fever most of the day on Wednesday and I just didn't go to class today even though I felt better. All I did was Russian office hours. The whole thing has been a wash. I watched a lot of Super Mega vlogs on YouTube, and then my one friend sent me an hour long video about a Garfield comic strip and I watched that too (it was amazing, the HEIGHT of ART). And somewhere in between there I fell asleep at like 6 PM and woke up like an hour ago, even though this morning I didn't even wake up until 11:30.

As a result, I feel really disoriented and I'm still tired and in that after-stage of sickness where my room is covered in sick-people-remnants and my nose is all moist all the time but I don't have the energy to clean it up yet. I tried to masturbate just now, but it wasn't very satisfying.

It has been an out-of-sync couple of days, but I hope to return to normalcy eventually, lol. Also, I got my period even though it's only been two weeks since my last one, which has been annoying. Periods are expensive and I hate that I am depleting my supply of period stuff twice in a month. I had some cramps but it was hard to tell if that was period-induced or just because I was ill at the same time.

Everything's kind of weird. I hope if I go to sleep I can wake up real early to do my Russian homework. I do like Russian, but sometimes it is hard to get myself to study consistently. That's never been my style, because a lot of what I like to learn or teach myself is more about technique than it is about factual things. Which is why I don't get along that well with biology classes, where a lot of the information has to be internalized rather than deduced. Foreign languages need a lot of consistent practice too, and I am bad at that, but I'm trying.

Okay. I'll go now. I was hoping this would bring me back into the world but I still feel super weird, lmao. I will probably sleep it off.

forgot to mention! Been thinking a lot about home people lately. Particularly Alexis and Isaac. Both memories are making me a bit sad for different reasons.