me

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2019-03-07 01:36:13 (UTC)

chill

I AM SO FUCKING DONE WITH EVERYTHING! I AM SO DONE WITH LIFE! I can't even fucking function and when I do everybody shuts me down. My sister always tells me to shut the fuck up and my brother always tells me he wishes I was dead. Why can't I just be loved? Why can't people just let me be me? Am I that fucking worthless to everybody around me? Am I just somebody people have to put up with when in reality they don't want to? God I just wanna be more than that. I wanna be more valuable than that. I know I am not and I know I will never be but it's nice to pretend that I can be someone better when in reality we all know I am just me. Nothing worth spending time with. Someone people actually wanna hang out with it. It is so tiring to pretend all the god damn time. I am so sick of pretending. It is just funny how people believe me when I say I am okay. My hidden talent is pretending I am okay. That hurts to say that because it is the truth. I am hurting 99.9% of the time and the other 1% I am actually okay. But that doesn't matter. That doesn't stop people from being dicks to me. I actually believe it drives them to do it more because they know they can make my life more hell than it already is. But you can't make someone sad if they are already sad. You can't break someone if they are already broken. The saddest part is I am silently begging my parents for help. Silently begging for them to notice I am hurting. But they don't even notice. They are just like everybody else who believes I am okay even when I am not. I usually never am. But it's okay because I am just an ugly, stupid, worthless, useless, etc. girl. I AM A NOTHING! I AM NOTHING SPECIAL! I NEVER WAS AND I NEVER WILL BE!


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