How is it I can feel the greatest but then the next minute I can feel like complete and utter shit. I feel like a ferris wheel when this happens because at one point I am at the top of the world then the next minute I am as low as the ground. People don't help when I feel that way either. They try to help but sometimes it just makes it worse than it started out to be. My feelings don't matter to a lot of people but I wish they did. I wish for a lot of things but I haven't ever gotten what I wished for in awhile like yeah I got things I want but the stuff I wish for are the stuff I really really want. The stuff I wish for isn't an object it's recognition or for my family to love me but that's something that probably won't happen. I tend to listen to what others have to say and it makes it worse. I wish I could ignore it but I can't. Today I just felt very lost. I didn't know what to do or what to say. I know I sound so fucking pathetic but it makes sense because I am pathetic. I am the most pathetic person anyone will ever meet. I feel like I can't breathe anymore. I am suffering severely and nobody is helping me. I got pushed around today. I wasn't even alive today pretty much. I'm not noticed. I'm not recognized. So why I am still here? Why am I still alive? All I do is get pushed around like an object. I am a human being god damn it! I need to be treated like one for once in my fucking life all I ask is someone treat me normally for one fucking day and don't treat me like a fucking object u found on the street. I just would like people to see me as me. I want people to see me as a human and not shit. UGH.