WickedScript

Letters to My Ex
2019-03-05 01:50:53 (UTC)

February 19th pt 2

Hello again Dave,
Even with everything, I actually thought about you less today. I didn’t jump at my phone. Not even when Steve texted me on messenger. Usually messenger is the one to do it too.
Remember how you told me that you loved how I owned so many 90s cartoons on DVD? You did a couple weeks ago. Ive been thinking of that today. How we used to watch Disney movies together. And how you’d watch them by yourself and give me the play by play of whichever one you were watching. I loved that. I got to be a kid with you. And you could do the same with me. I hope I find that. I hope that I find someone else who will let me be me.
The other thing I keep remembering is the time we all went to Sam’s beach house. There was that “Before I die, I want to...” board. We all wrote down our wishes. And I remember the next day seeing “Before I die, I want to have sex with” and then my name with my spelling.
I remember being mad and a bit embarrassed. You denied that it was you when I asked. But I liked that our relationship wasn’t just about sex. I mean, obviously we did it but that wasn’t what it was all about. If that were the case, why bother with me when you could have any other girl. But we were just genuinely attracted to each other. To each other’s personalities, bodies, and just the general essence of each other.
You fell for me when I was wearing baggy black pants, a greasy, baggy, black and grey shirt, and my hair in a ponytail with a viser. That’s the girl you asked on a date. And if that’s not some crazy love at first sight deal, I don’t know what is.
But I HAVE been toying with the idea of taking you back once you stop being “confused.” Like would I? How could I trust you? I think if I did, you would have to gain back my trust. It’s not fair to make me wait and not expect the same in return. I think I’d have to make you do a couple things to know you really wanted me not just another close, warm body.
1. Tell the girl you’re talking to the truth. You never cared for her. You’re sorry but you were using her. That it’s always been me. Break the ties. She was a bitch to me when we were dating so I really wouldn’t feel bad.
2. Get tested. Maybe an acid wash. I don’t think I could sleep with you after you’ve been with her. Like, you’ve told me she’s had STDs and I don’t want ANY of them.
3. Move in. No more excuses.
4. Take me to Red Lobster like you promised.
5. Some sort of public apology. What you did to me was awful and unforgivable. Knowing you’d be willing to tell everyone you were wrong and potentially embarrass yourself would be a nice start.
I think I had a couple more. If I remember I’ll let you know.
I don’t know. Every day that goes by just seems like less and less of a chance that you have with me. Talking to me ONCE doesn’t make me want to keep waiting. If anything it felt like the closure I needed. Talking to you felt good, honestly, because it was YOU.
But I’m going to finish this book. I’m going to fill it with memories. Maybe one day you or someone else read it and they’ll find it useful. Maybe you’ll read through it and realize that you lost the BEST relationship and the BEST girl you will ever have. I was always 100% loyal and honest. I was reliable. I always picked up your call and if I missed it, I’d call you back within 5 minutes. I was only with you and that was all I needed. I supported you with everything. Through multiple jobs and supporting you with your friends and a family crisis every other day.
And what were you doing? Lines of cocaine in front of my BEST friend and pretending like he wouldn’t tell me?? Telling your friends that I would skinny dip in front of them because I’d do anything you asked??
One of your biggest flaws (and this is saying a lot) is that you always fear what other people think of you. You always want to be cool. Guess that’s why you have a dirty little secret. You must realize she’s a total downgrade if you still want everyone believing you’re with me.

Despite some of your other shortcomings, you were right about one thing. A lot of guys do like me. And not in the way they Like her. Guys like her because they know they can get what they want from her. She has no standards and reeks of desperation. Lot of guys like that.
Guys like me in a different way. I’m the girl guys want to date. I’ve been called pretty, gorgeous, hot and all that but I’m the girl that guys get nervous around. The ones they’re afraid of kissing because they want to take it slow and make it last. It’s a shame you didn’t.
But I’ve had a few offers in the past couple weeks and there’s one that I think I might entertain.




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