always wth love
Old Updates to the Present
March 1, 2019
I promise you guys that would be filling guys in after all the times that left you on several cliffhangers of last year and a bit now.
So over in the August, Ill tell what happen why couldn't talk about. When my mom found out I got accepted to an outstate college this when happiness experience got cut short and it end with me just shutting down, she didn't quite understand why? I wanted make fresh start and then I just kept having second thoughts every move I had made after and this lasted for a month half. I got threaten to move back with my birth mom and to end with my then boyfriend. This situation lasted weeks and it was hard because she told everybody she knew of me. I was all alone and I couldn't just talk about it without being judge upon. When September came it was timing to take "a break" I didn't wanted this to happen but, it was bad all around, we had save ourselves from the nuke that shattered our worlds. It took me while to pull away, because he was my first love and I didn't want say “bye” to him and we are still good friends that I enjoyed the most. It ended on Sept 17 and it was tough but, I knew we were doing right thing for both of us.
In December I was with sister and girlfriend so much, we watched ton of Netflix and chilling while playing with her furr babies. It was so much fun, I didn't feel like going back home. Being there with my sister and her girlfriend was refreshing and didn't have to worry about getting called every minute. I felt that experience when going to store buy stuff and I didn't feel so overwhelmed someday that I have to move into my own place. I looked at my sis as strong role since we had met , when we just innocent lil girls . Also that when had no choice apply to another college was more reasonable for one person that wasn't me and I had stopping being happy and do it for someone else.
As for my grandparents that I found out so much how complicated was for my birth mom growing up, I see why am having a difficult time having a backbone. I have three things that cant changed but I have put on a brave face for people to care that I have a voice.
February was interesting because I just had gone back to the dentist since id graduated in high school and I was there for a deep cleaning to prepare my mouth to receive braces. However, I get an text that altered my view and I couldn't breathe and it left questions within weeks ahead . We finally know what caused this scary event that was about my uncle he has lymphoma cancer and yes his being treated for several weeks now. I still don't know he will able to come my graduation, but that doesn't matter to me. I just want him to be healthy , you know. I finally decline to the outstate college which was harder to do this, but I had kept the option open for my future and I got accepted another college so am gonna go there instead.
Well that's all of it...
Its been 6 months now that am single again, it feels strange but I know what is love all about now. I cant say that any longer. I learned so much being with a great guy for the first time it felt amazing and I know ill find love again. We still talk to this vary day, which I love so the most. Over the time of my healing progress is listening to Sweetener/ thank u, next and While We Wait. Next Friday evening, I go get my braces on my teeth actually super anxious about that...Enjoy spring break its finally March, yay!!! I will be back at the end of March see you then. Stay Strong! Foreseen shadow