Canadian Cutie

Life through my spiritual eyes❤️
2019-02-18 17:13:05 (UTC)

My eyes are open now..

Listening to: I get to love you - Ruelle
One look at you,
my whole life falls in line.
I prayed for you
before I called you mine.
Oh I can't believe it's true sometimes.
Oh I can't believe it's true.
I get to love you.

"You can't change what's going on around you until you start to change what's going on within you"

Haha, I started this journal entry hours ago and got distracted..yes, I am blonde lol.
I had a really good day despite my broken, It hurt more today than any other day but I think because I pushed myself too hard yesterday. Spent today doing a few things but nothing that pushed me like yesterday. I managed to get my house clean with some help and I had a really good conversation throughout the day! :)

So, I ended it with B, truthfully..I should have long ago..but yesterday I sent an email I had been writing and preparing for awhile. I just never had the courage to do it but my eyes are open now and it was the right thing to do..He's a good guy but He's not my one... While I don't regret the time together because I learned a lot about myself, who I am..what I want an what I deserve.. I regret I needed validation after a difficult breakup. I was always true to myself during and honest with Him and He knew my heart is elsewhere.. He knew I wasn't over my ex and He knew I couldn't give myself the way He wanted but He still wanted to be with me.. overall it's the best thing for Him and for myself. He's emailed a few times since but I haven't responded, nothing today either.. which is good.. I hope He finds happiness. I am just not her.

Tomorrow I am off due to an appointment then I am back to work Wednesday for the remainder of the week, kinda looking forward to returning. As much as I love days off, I crave the structure and right now that's the only place I am really getting it outside of giving it to myself through my research and submissive journal.. lol

I am sleepy, it's after 10 here so I am going to call it a night!

Goodnight! 🌙❤

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