narmi89

SOJOURNER'S DAIRY
2019-02-18 06:32:35 (UTC)

Darkness to Light

Have you ever question yourself why I cannot satisfy ourselves for the things you have. You have to climb up on the career ladder, gained lots of fame, money, respect, amazing houses, family, amazing vacations and many more. Then Why I am not satisfied with what I have gained through hard labour ?? Have you ever question what's the purpose of this life? To enjoy ourselves? If so then why I cannot be satisfied?
What's going on?> What there to be done? Have you ever drown yourselves with the same line of thoughts.

We are vessels need to be filled. We are hollow inside. We need to be filled. We all have a hole of the shape of God. It cannot be filled with something else. You cannot numb the emptiness.

I was abused both physically and mentally from my childhood. I was empty. I didn't wanna to live anymore. I wanted to take my own life. I was suicidal. It was too much for me. I did everything to please others, please my flesh. Never felt satisfied. I numb my emptiness with temporary things - alcohol, friends, relationships, food, money, clothes many many more. I didn't understand why I couldn't get enough and always empty inside aching to be full/. Everyone called me by names, I was offended easily, anger, bitterness and unforgiveness were stirring in my heart. I thought I deserve all. I was confused about why I am here in this world who runs a very fast pace. No stopping. People called me the name and abused me and bully me THEN...THEN. I have been stopped at the CROSS. I m amazed the things been shown and revealed to by Him so far. sometimes he would take me through journeys with difficulties, confusion but He is faithful. When you let Him do whatever he wants to do in your life, through your weakest human eyes see the glims of Gods hand in your life in situations doesn't make any sense. His timing may be crazy for us as humans but little did we know how loving and amazing God is. He is GOd. He is worthy and he is with us all the way. I will wait no matter how long to His will be done cuz I do not have the answers for my question but He is there with me. All the way through trials in life, We may be angry towards him that we cannot feel his presence but truthfully we were the ones who become blind to him there working on our lives in His time. We may pray to want things as our own desire but He knows what's best for us. So, Father, I let you do what you want to. I belong to you.

Here there was Jesus with open arms smiling at me. I met Jesus. He revealed the love of the Father. been not been loved by anyone in my life been loved by Him. Knowing that I do not deserve anything but death as I was so sinful before the Holy God. He cleansed me through the blood of Christ that he has been paid my debts. I m reconciled to God through Him. Jesus is the ladder between God and us. I am grateful for the Lord my Father who saved my life from perishing. Knowing my purpose and identity had been changed now before God as I can see and savour the sweet fellowship of God made my heart ache to see Him one day. I pray for my life to reflect the love that he has for me. I pray that that amazing generosity will overflow to others. Pray that my passion towards the Lord will grow like a tree which provides the more sheld to many. Been in the presence of God made you different. The journey is rough and there are ups and downs but I could preserve and sustain through the Christ in me. My passion for towards may grow by Gods Grace. The unchanging Love, mercy and generosity He had towards Us may be seen by many. The peace I have now is permanent. I m filled with joy and thankfulness. Ability to see the truth and be aware of my place before He made me realize the only can make me filled with joy and happiness is my Lord and saviour. He crucified my old self and gave me a new life and a new heart. May my life will be surrender to you fully. You made all things new. All things new Lord. I can go through anything with the Grace of God as it brings me strength and clarity I many paths. He lit my path so then I could see where I go clearly. I may be afraid to go on paths which I do not see but He will be my eyes who will lead me. As I was blinded by the world He will lead me through the path of righteousness. All the glory to God who saved my; life from perishing. I was rescued from darkness to light. My eyes have were open by Him whos above. Thankful




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