Canadian Cutie

Life through my spiritual eyes❤️
2019-02-15 17:47:45 (UTC)

Engrained in my DNA

Listening to: Remember Everything - My Darkest Days
If I could hold back the rain
Would you numb the pain
'Cause I remember everything
If I could help you forget
Would you take my regrets
'Cause I remember everything
I feel like running away
I'm still so far from home
You say that I'll never change
But what the fuck do you know
I'll burn it all to the ground before I let you run
Please forgive me, I can't forgive you now
I remember everything

"The moment you think you can't, is when you must believe you can" ~Entity

I had a great day! Aside from the broken butt lol, I would never have thought breaking your tailbone can cause so much pain and how much you rely on it for every day things..Lesson learned..guard the hiney lol.

I went and had my hair all redone, looks SO good..she curled it and it looked cute, nice beachy waves on top of a new color.. Then I saw B for a few while He was on lunch from work.. Then I went and got my nails done, all fresh and new :) I feel good.. It's nice to feel in a good head space after last night's struggle. It was brutal but I am in a better place.

I scheduled another reading yesterday which I just got back today and wow was it informative.. I love how when she does them, I get them through private youtube link that I can watch anytime but nobody else can without the link. It's my private reading done. I have a few links now.. Love rewatching..She's a great person who really does care about my well being. She said some things that she could not have nailed on the head more than she did. There's things she doesn't know, that I never said and in every reading she brings them up, to the letter. Cards don't lie.. It was the answers I needed.

I am praying my positivity stays high all weekend, I intend it to and will continue to call on my spirit guides.. I have to say, As hard as these past 2.5 months have been.. I think it was very needed for my own growth. You can't grow when You are in denial about how things are and in my case I didn't see the changes I needed to make within myself to become the very best of me. As much as it's hurt.. I am SO much stronger now. I found strength I never knew I had.. 2 months ago I would have said and probably have..that I will never be ok...but I know I will be.. You don't lose something just cause, You lose something to gain clarity, appreciation and growth and something meant for You.. Whether it's the return of my twin flame or not.. I believe something grandeur is coming. I wish with all my heart it is my twin flame but if it's not.. I will be ok. I have faith what's meant to be, will.....but for now I need to move forward and focus on myself.. I learned by saying "I am not ready"...I am only manifesting myself to be stuck in limbo and not open to what the divine has planned. It's only making me NOT ready and I refuse to sit in limbo anymore.. So ultimately I now remove that from my vocabulary and trust in the divine to bring me what I need and deserve. I know in the next relationship I have whether with my twin or not..I have the keys to make them the happiest they have ever been.. I am far from perfect but I know I am more equipped to be an incredible submissive.. I am still growing and learning and I won't be perfect but I know I would never fall back into old patterns and habits.. One thing I have really come to realize is.. I far more submissive than I realized ..D/s is something I absolutely need in my life. I have learned and realized it's deeper engrained into my dna as much as my blue eyes are..I mean I knew it was and I knew I AM submissive but I think what I mean to say is.. I have grown into my submission, into the submissive I am truly meant to be..I have grown SO much in SO many areas, I am not the same person I was 6 months ago let alone 2.5 months ago and I wish I could talk to the girl I was then. I have so much to tell her..SO much clarity for her she didn't have in that moment, so much that may have played a different outcome for herbut I can't but I know I won't repeat the mistakes I made in new relationships.... I just want peace and happiness and there's no room for drama in my life anymore.. Anyways, my daily thoughts, scary in my head isn't it? lol

Tonight? I am home now..tailbone hurts like no tomorrow lol, So going to soak in a hot bath with a lush bath bomb and curl up and do some more reading with the book I mentioned this morning.. Feeling good and positive..But first I am going to rewatch my reading once again...I loved it :)

I hope everyone has an amazing evening! ❤

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