Grace

Smells Like Adult Spirit (But Not Really)
2019-02-13 00:49:10 (UTC)

Feeling Worthless, Still

I had therapy today. And it was alright. It brought up a lot. It's been two ish years of seeing her. Which is great. But I don't know. I feel like I don't feel any better about myself. I'm consistently talking down to myself. But, more often, it's about me being alone romantically. And I'm aware of how pitiful I sound. But I have placed so much on it.

I'm a 20 year old virgin. I'm so inexperienced in anything and everything related to relationships. Even friendships. It's embarassing to me. I've lied over and over again about my experiences, making other people think things about me. Because I'm embarassed. I've never even been on a date. Not once. Coming up is my 20th valentines day alone. The boy I loved from the online game doesn't love me back. And never will. And he's younger. And everything is unrealistic. I just. I am insane. everything about this is insane. i'm incapable of recieving love. no one will ever fucking love me. my own family doesn't even love me. let alone any sort of male.




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