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2019-02-03 08:57:00 (UTC)

A Stronger Better You

7:56am on a Sunday morning, good God. It's way too early but no surprise, here I am! Now that January is officially done and dusted, my friend has given me a new or 'more intense' regime for February. January was just warming up, getting into it, dusting off the cobwebs if you will. February is where I'm going to try and push myself a bit more and really try and facilitate some change. I know I need to start eating better too, this is going to be a ridiculous climb if I don't change my horrendous diet.

I won't be using weights until my friend comes back from work in March so this month is purely all me. I am really hoping that when I get a bit more comfortable with techniques and my appearance, maybe I can join a gym. Right now I feel a bit too anxious about the whole thing. We have a new spreadsheet which will log my running time and also the time I spend on the exercise bike. I did 40 minutes on the bike yesterday which is the longest I've done. I didn't run yesterday because we had snow Friday and I didn't want to chance it with the ice but I should run today. Outside of running and the bike, the bodyweight exercises are as follows :-

Squat jumps (8)
Burpees (8)
Pushups (5) (I'm a bitch)
Single Leg Lunges (8 per leg)
Tricep Dips (5)
Crunches (10)
Toe Taps (10)
Planks (20 seconds)
Leg Raises (10)

Total Circuits: 2

So this is what I'll be doing as much as I can of throughout this month, increasing the reps as time goes on. I've been watching a lot of motivational videos lately and I do feel very ready for this and know this is something that I need to do. I called myself fat yesterday and my friend shouted at me. Maybe 'fat' is harsh but I know I'm getting big and sadly it's not just my ass anymore. There is a party in the summer, my friend does it every year. It's like a BBQ party where we invite a lot of our friends and his girlfriend will invite a lot of her friends, it's one big massive get together. Sun, BBQ, booze, hottub, it's a great atmosphere. I want to at least feel somewhat confident with myself if i'm getting in the hottub, usually I wouldn't give a shit but if my friends girlfriend is bringing all of her girlfriends, I don't want to be the chubby, pasty white guy, you know? so I know there is a lot of work to be done. That being said, I'm not doing it for a bunch of girls at a party, that would be pathetic. My interest in women is a big 0, or the ones that I am very invested in don't feel the same about me but that's life eh? I think I've already come to the conclusion that I'm forever alone. I'm obviously doing all of this for myself, the BBQ thing was just an example.

Motivation also runs a bit deeper than just fitness. I have to tackle maths when I go back to college and the thought of it scares the shit out of me. I've got to look at getting some help, it won't be the end of the world if I don't do well in maths but as it stands, I feel really embarrassed. Everybody is struggling with English except me and everybody seems to be cruising Maths except me. if I can just get a 'C', I will be amazed. Sunday is going to be my last 'chill day', I don't have college Monday but I have a bit of work that I need to get done. I still have to design a poster in regards to nature/nurture for Social Science and then I have a lot of correcting and changes to make for my Maths assignments. Aside from that, some modifications to make for my PowerPoint presentation and then I think I'm actually up to date with my work.

I choose the name for this entry because I've been watching some of John Cena's workouts and his regime, not because I ever intend to look like him or do what he does, haha, I wish! I just think he's a very inspiring person, regardless of how limited and overrated he is in the ring. As a person, the guy is amazing (no homo). He was showing people what he does and talking about limitations and saying that none of it is a contest or a competition and everything is designed to make you a 'stronger better you' and I loved that. That's all I want to be, I just want to be better than I was yesterday.

Good morning,


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