Sat Mornings :)
I love Saturday mornings. It's raining out and It's about 7:30AM here and yup, I'm still in bed :) I only got up to do a load of laundry, pee, and start the coffee. I'm back in bed. Happy because yesterday, I finally got on the scale. Worried that not going to the gym for 5 days made me gain weight but I was at 154.5 lbs. Yeah baby!!! I sort of ate right. Not 100% but 80% right. Not hard really. Stay away from sugar if you can. Eat good carbs. Protein and lots of veggies. Don't know if I can ever get a six pack because I love my wine to relax at night.
Anyway, like I said. Still in bed. Got my hot cup of coffee. While it sucks out right now with the rain and cold, I'm in the house nice and toasty. I don't work today so I can keep my ass in bed for as long as I want. I'm subbing for my friend's dart team today. My other friend Jen wants to speak to me about her other friend that needs a room. I'm starting to think I don't want to rent out a room. I'm really finding my peace now living with myself and no girlfriend. But that's all I have on my agenda this Saturday.
I'm alone this house like I said but not really lonely. My breakup with my ex? I no longer think of her the first thing in the morning or the last thing at night like I used to once not so long ago. It is Valentines this month so it may be a small hurdle mentally but I'm much stronger now than I was a few months ago. I have more confidence. I do smile for no reason from time-to-time. Like now and I'm sober!! haha. Nah, I'm just finding the peace within myself.
I'm listening to some stuff of youtube and getting the "living the moment" thing. It's not what I thought. It's not blowing all your money today and not thinking of tomorrow. It's sort of like backing up from your life and looking at your entire life from afar. Beginning to end and what will transpire during your lifetime. Lot's of ups and downs. It's asking you how your state of mind is during these ups and downs. Will you always be down on yourself and depressed as you traverse through life or will you love the good times and understand when the bad times are here and how you cope with it and know that it will pass? Well, I sort of get it now.
I will eventually get my ass out of bed and take a shower. I will pass my closet to throw my clothes in the hamper and while semi-commando, I will look at my body and smile :) I was such a fat turd a year and a half ago. I used to go to the swimming pool or lake with my shirt on. Yeap, I was that guy. Now I'm not close to being a hunk but I got some definitions on my abs and my shoulders are broad for my body. My spongebob arms are getting toned. I don't think I ever liked myself inside and out before. Never except maybe when I was a kid and wasn't introduced to society's acceptable and not acceptable rules of life yet.
That's my thoughts for now. la-de-da :)
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