lmakes08

thoughts
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2019-01-30 16:42:09 (UTC)

The inevitable

Slowly day by day it’s as if we’re drifting apart. I don’t know what’s going on. I’ve been burying my feelings about this and not expressing how I actually feel. I’m sitting next to you right now and we’re not speaking. The things I say come out wrong. The way I said it I didn’t mean for it to sound that way. I just want you to succeed and make all of us proud. Everyday we’ve been fighting; sometimes small sometimes big. I’m not as emotional anymore, but I still have the urges to scream at the world. It’s almost 4 years and I’m beyond blessed to have had you in my life. You’re my lover, husband, support, happiness, and my best friend. I’m afraid that we won’t make it. If we don’t thats okay because everything happens for a reason and God just has a different plan for us. I would really like you to still be in my life; especially as my boyfriend. I feel as if you’re not all in anymore. You tell me that you are and that you love me. I don’t feel it. On occasion you make me feel special. You get mad over my other friends and that I hangout with them too much. Well you know what, I feel like myself around them. I can be as stupid or as quirky as I want and I don’t feel judged or loved any less. I just make you mad. I know i get mad over little things, but they matter to me and you telling me that I’m stupid or overreacting makes me feel as if my opinions are invalidated. Whenever something good happens to me I run to tell you. If it doesn’t “entertain you” you just brush me off and change the topic. I want things to go back to the way they were.


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