Scream Above the Sounds
I went to sleep pretty early last night, about 8:30pm. I had a plan that I would sleep early and then wake up and finish my Social Science assignment before I left for college this morning. I set an alarm for 5am and I woke up and I received this message from somebody on here. It says :-
'Hey edd! I hope this meets you well. I stumbled upon this diary of yours some months ago, and have been a silent follower ever since.
You may not know this but your updates about going back to college have really inspired me. I mean, I'm just 23 and I thought I was already too old and then I came across your updates and you've shown me our age is nothing but a number. So, thank you.
You're an amazing person and I can assure you your best days are ahead of you, despite all you may have gone through in the past. Just keep being amazing, and stay winning, wherever you are.'
It was really great to see something like this. It's always nice to know that people follow and appreciate what you're doing, even if it is something simple as just logging day to day things. It made me feel really happy to know that I've made somebody feel this way. I really would encourage anybody to go back to education if they feel it's something they want to do. 2018 was really hard for me but I knew I had to make drastic changes, otherwise you're just wishing your days away. You're in the drivers seat, you have to do it and you have to do it for the right reasons. I attempted to go back to college when I was 19 and I wasn't ready for it, I crashed and burned, probably harder than when I was in high school to begin with. You can't force yourself to go back if you aren't ready but once you DO feel ready, grasp it with both hands. It doesn't matter how old you are, if there are things you want to achieve in life then you have to be brave. Go and get what you're worth. There is a guy on my course who is 49 years old, I think he said he spent the last 20 years just being a taxi driver and now he wants to become a lawyer. You just need that vision, the ambition and the drive. You can be anything you want to be.
It's so easy to tell other people the right things, yet I still can't seem to do it. If I followed my own advice, I'd be singing. Sadly, that would be too easy and depression often thwarts me and leaves me in a pit of despair. I keep going though, and you should too. I've endured and been through too much and I think the fact I haven't thrown in the towel yet is a true testament to how strong I am. The common theme with this website is, the majority of us are struggling; whether it's family, depression, financially, we all have problems and this is a crutch for a lot of people, including myself. We need to be nice to one another, we need to be there for one another. I consider myself to be damaged goods but I know I have a good heart. I could apologise for all the mistakes I've made for the rest of my life but what good would that do? I put myself through enough self-torture, it has to stop. We're stronger than we think and we're all going to make it.