Canadian Cutie

Life through my spiritual eyes❤️
2019-01-24 17:18:17 (UTC)

Growing up means being honest...

Listening to: You don't her like I do - Brantley Gilbert
'Cause you don't know her like I do
You'll never understand
You don't know what we've been through
That girl's my best friend
And there's no way you're gonna help me
She's the only one who can
No, you don't know how much I've got to lose
You don't know her like I do

"I've found that growing up means being honest. About what I want. What I need. What I feel. Who I am." ~ Epiphany

Work was good, we were swamped this morning but we finished up by 11:30 and my boss told me to go ahead seeing I came in early. Didn't have to tell me twice so I finished up what I was doing and was gone by 12:30, sweet!

I am exhausted but leaving work I had some energy and I needed an outlet to so I hit the gym..Man did it hit back lol. I spent another 2.5 hours there and left in a sweaty mess. It's so therapeutic. I ache all over. My body will hate me tomorrow lol. Closer to my goal however.

Tomorrow I am off too..so may go see about getting a few new pieces of clothing and get my eyebrows waxed. I have bought a few things but I am in need of new panties and new pants.. Mine are too big for me now. I am not complaining. I may be able to donate more clothing soon. I wish I had made an earlier appointment than next Friday for my nails because they are getting bit too long. I like them longer but now they interfering when I text and when I use my keyboard lol.

Tonight? I am talking to my girlfriend. Well, one of the two I have left. backstory....I put distance with the ones I went to Vegas with. Not that they are bad people..they aren't. I still care for them but we just don't have much in common anymore. One actually called me yesterday and we were talking and she said .."Just so you know.. K****** thinks you've changed. She said you didn't have fun in Vegas and how you just seemed more distanced since we returned"....I asked her if she felt the same..she said "in all honesty, yes..you aren't the same, you are different and I don't know if it's us..or you. Did we do something wrong?"....I explained they hadn't..they are still the amazing girls I grew up with but just at this point I am focusing on myself. She ended the conversation shortly after abruptly. I felt bad but I am not going to lie..it's the truth.. I am focused on my growth now but she didn't need to hear how I feel they are stuck in immaturity and dangerous behavior. They are good people. I just feel we don't have the same wants for the future. I have changed..and I am not disappointed in that.. As sad as it felt to almost confirm her suspicions that I am just not interested in being part of that group anymore. It felt like a weight lifted. It was a negative influence for me. I hope in time they understand it isn't about them..but more about me focusing on me. She always told me I was too nice and always let people walk all over me..Thinking her opinion changed now lol.

Oh where was I? oh yes.. one of my few friends left..lol, is teaching me about tarot..tonight we doing a video call a bit to go through her cards..shes going to do a reading and describe her deck. I am anxious to learn. I still can't shake this intuitive feeling I am having that either someone is trying to communicate with me or something is going to happen, maybe both... again I don't feel it's negative.. it's hard to explain the feeling.. but it's there.. Wish it would just come to light..makes me anxious lol. Anyways going to go make a tea then call her :) then I think I will watch some of my recorded Chicago series and soak up some puppy cuddles...soooooo needed :)

I hope everyone is having an amazing evening!❤


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