Do Not Disturb

2019-01-24 19:43:20 (UTC)

Does This Make Me Look Fat?

Dear journal,

My biggest insecurity is my weight. And as long as we're being honest here , I haven't been eating as healthy as I was planning on doing in the year of 2019 so much for New Year's Resolution. Actually I haven't been eating healthy at all if, me eating a salad that I had a few days ago for dinner counts.

Like yesterday, I had some delicious 6 piece lemon pepper wings ( or was it 7) then, I ate a whole box of celery. Well, technically it came in a to go box. I regreted on eating every last bit of it but it was so good.

I feel fat in everything I wear. And I looked fat in everything I wear.

My current size is between a medium and a large ( mostly large). I feel ashamed. I look like I'm pregnant everytime I wear something.... Anything.

I just wanna cry. I wanna lose weight but also I just wanna cry about my weight. You know what I mean. Self doubt is what they call it.

I don't wanna eat as much as I use to but then I break that rule then ends up eating all the food I see.

I'm fat and disgusted and I just wanna cry.

Write more as soon as possible


The Forgotten One

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