Sam's Journal
2019-01-21 20:57:37 (UTC)


As a twenty year-old boy in 2019, I have found myself to be lonely and displaced from anything resembling friendship or companionship. I have always been reserved, choosing listening over speaking in most cases. In high school, I had a few girlfriends who would help me to outwardly express my emotions and allow me to feel like a social person when listening to them as well. I was part of many social circles being on sports teams and musical groups, but chose to stay at home rather than go out. This year, in my third year of university, I have felt the loneliest I ever have with very few connections in the world. I socialize with my brothers and in the summer with some of my old sports and music friends, but during the year I find it difficult to find people in the wild. I am pursuing a girl I met in the summer who is slightly interested in me, but that is not enough for me. It was only today that I realized that I should not be looking for someone to pour out all of my thoughts to, but rather to appreciate the people I see everyday: my parents before I leave in the morning, the brief chats with people in my class, and listening to my brothers tell me of their everyday activities. When I am able to see my life through this lens, I feel slightly less lonely than before. Today was a pretty good day and I feel that I have grown.