Canadian Cutie

Life through my spiritual eyes❤️
2019-01-21 08:02:26 (UTC)

With a new day..

Listening to: Dear God - Avenged Sevenfold

"With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts" ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

Good Morning Sunshines! lol It's sooooo sunny out but bitter cold.. it's ok.. least the sun is shining :)

I am really tired today but I managed to hit the gym at my regular time. I am officially down 22 pounds since early December. This "break-up" diet was good for my weight loss but hella stress on my body lol. I need to get in touch with my family doctor today I think. My appetite is so non-existent lately and I seem to tremble consistently, especially my hands. Last time I ate was Friday out at lunch with my girlfriend. I went to my best friends for dinner last night but within 2 bites.. I was done, my tummy turned and I couldn't swallow it. Food just is so unappealing. I don't know if it's mental or physical at this point. Yes I am still struggling but it shouldn't be this long.

Today I feel good.. I laid in bed last night and thought about my growth as a person and as a submissive in the last 2ish months. So many differences in how I view things now about myself and my submission compared to before. I am working on an entry in my private journal called "The submissive I am now..." I was surprised how many thoughts and feelings and understandings changed once I put pen to paper or in this case..fingers to keyboard lol. May wear my nails down lol.. (side note, I decided to grow them out a little more than my usual long nails so last appointment she did not cut any back and they are beautifully long). I really am enjoying my growth and I am thankful for the circumstances that pushed me to examine myself and make the improvements and changes I needed..for myself! Despite how much they've hurt.. Sometimes growth takes pain.. I also been keeping up with my gratitude journal as asked and will take it to my appointment today after work.

Today, fun.. I am happy for the distraction in all honesty..then I have my shrink right after then I am seeing B for a bit this evening..not til 6 however. I am still unsure what is right to do with B.. I enjoy spending time with Him but I know He is getting very attached to me. He hasn't said love and I have asked Him not to.. I can't even begin to open myself that way yet. I feel guilty but I have always been 100% honest with Him. It's kinda funny... last night we were talking about D/s and me as a submissive and He said "I can't imagine anyone giving you up as a girlfriend, friend or a are the total package, you have the kindest heart of anyone I have ever met".. I laughed and said "you only know who I am now"....He said "uhohs" then laughed and said "I still think you always been"..but it felt good to hear... I feel like I am definitely progressing in my growth. He too kind that way.. We texted a bit this morning our usual good morning and I said "Have an amazing day"...He said "I am going to try to make that happen"....I asked "how can you make it amazing?"....His response was "Move some projects forward with a new client today and spend time with a beautiful sub I know tonight" He's smooth lol. I said well.. "I said well I can only help with one of those but focus on the 1st and it will come true"..So he replied "not true....if you are bored at work..can you research _________ for me?" I laughed and said "sure" lol I have done this in the past..researched things related to His work and it has helped Him immensely. I am happy to do so.

Oh crap it's 9:11, good thing my co-worker just text me lol. Need to put some clothes on and head off to work.. Have a wonderful day all ❤