Nala Toph

Written Thoughts
2019-01-20 01:44:40 (UTC)

If It Were Me

I run away from a raise of voice from my father, I know he loves me but I can't feel it so I end up not thinking about it. I don't really feel sympathy for others, I barely have any for my mother and she is the most loving in the family. For the most part I dated just so I could think, "yay I'm not single..." and I'd just say these things to make them feel good because I know that is what you are supposed to do in a relationship. For Leon I... I don't know why but I felt love, and it was so powerful. It was an emotion I wasn't used to and I still don't handle it well but I want the feeling more and more. Leon is truly the first person I felt like I was being loved for, I wanted to run away and just be on the streets forget about life and shit well I didn't because Leon draws me back to the screen to talk another day.
never had this sort of love before...
when I hear bad stuff I think one of two things, "yup that's life suck it up" "wow sucks to be you" but for Leon I felt uncomfortable, I think it's the feeling of sorrow and it was uncomfortable because I never truly felt it before. Leon opened my mind to more emotions then I thought existed. Our 2 months of dating I never got mad with him. Try saying that to one single person that I know, their response will mostly be
"Not mad? We must be talking of two different people"

Nana always said I have a natural charm.
I never understood how to do it, everyone just ends up being friends with me. It's my lack of emotion that makes me loose so many of them though. Leon is different, I almost know exactly how he feels and what he is going through. Yet not a single person gives me abuse for being bisexual, in fact I've never been abused in my life. I feel like I have this responsibility to check up on him every hour. I just hope he doesn't get annoyed from all the messages.