Nala Toph

Written Thoughts
2019-01-15 03:01:05 (UTC)

I Hope He's Alright

Dear diary,

Leon's parents still aren't happy about him being bisexual and they found his account to some bisexual chat room. I'm sick to my stomach worried about him. Not sure how long I can wait if things are taken away from him. I'm thinking two weeks but I hope I can wait two months if it actually comes down to that, I sure hope it doesn't. Now I'm crying with all this worrying about no control. Why can't I just have my boyfriend and be happy? Why does that always seem too much to ask for? Why must I live in agony? All I want is to snuggle up with Leon, I want this more than my survival needs. Better to die happy than live suffering. So brother is going to collage, dad is working more, sis is going to other places, mom is in the hospital and Leon is dealing with homophobic parents, this is too much shit for me to worry about. I don't have the maturity to be on my own, I can't take care of myself, I have no self care. I wake up everyday for Leon and others, if I'm not with someone then I'd rather go to bed hungry than cook for myself. Feeling like I want to die right now, this all is to much. Nobody is fine, everyone's going places except me and Leon and we're 5,000 miles away from each other. The only reason I have yet to slit my throat is because Leon is still out there, but he's not okay...


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