Getting a grip on life
Now that I've had some time of reflection, I have to admit or be glad I'm where I'm at. For one thing, I am so thankful that I'm not with my ex wife anymore. We were together for so long but I am so so glad that we aren't together anymore. The poison of that relationship was so unbelievable. Don't know if I had any regrets lately about her but now that I can calmly sit back and recall what happened in it's entirety of the past, I say whew!!! So glad I'm not in that toxic relationship anymore.
Now my ex gf, we were together for only a year. While I hurt for her I also know that she wasn't the one. Her language of love and mine didn't match. She was cold and unaffectionate. I know this. I just always fail to see the bad. She even admit to being cold and said she's heard this before and said she'd try to change. But yeah....... I know I feel sad about losing her but at the same time, I know it wasn't right and while it doesn't feel good to be broken up, it was the right outcome. It did not fit. We did not fit. I think it's just because the fear of being alone made me forget that we did not match anymore.
The last person I just dated? That too was just a fun little date. It served it's purpose. She is not wanting a relationship because she still got 2 years of nursing school. That's fine. No one is at fault for this. This was just a fun date. I did not fail nor is she "the one or not the one". It was just lunch with a nice human being. That was all.
So where does this leave me? I don't know. I do know that I am here. Breathing the air. Roof over my head. Great job. Great friends. Lots of hobbies. I don't go hungry. My health is pretty good. Healthy with no major issues (knock on wood). I have all kinds of "need to haves" that I jokingly say I need but I know in real life I don't need this shit. Just like to enjoy the fruits of my hard earned labors :)
I can't really bitch about life. At least I do have choices. At least I have a great job that helps me get over this hump in life. I have no debts currently. I will once I finance my new Tacoma but that isn't bad I guess. So much in life to still enjoy. I know I shouldn't dwell in the past. Get my head out of the sand and enjoy life. Stop with my little pity party already :)