Canadian Cutie

Life through my spiritual eyes❤️
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2019-01-14 06:57:45 (UTC)

Someone I am proud of ❤

Listening to: Tequila - Dan Shay

I am so tired.. I went to bed at 10 but by the time I fell asleep it was 11.. I was reading more on bdsm and submission and writing a bit in my submissive journal.. I read back some of the earlier entries here and in my submissive journal last night and I see such a growth, as a woman and as a submissive.. Sometimes it takes a major breakdown to have a major break through..I am learning this and I just need to continue in my growth not for someone but for myself. I need to pour my heart in soul into every thing I do.. every day. I need to appreciate the bad days just as much as the good days because through this heartbreak.. I have grown into someone I am proud of .
❤"Everything that you want to be you already are, and you are simply on the path of discovering it"❤

I did my usual gym, shower and workout this morning and now just relaxing before I start getting ready for work. I doubt I will be able to write because the co-worker I am teamed up with today is very nosey lol. So writing now.. Work should be busier.. one of the trainee's quit last week..the second one I was to train. Maybe I scared her? lol So we are hiring another. Not sure how soon but hopefully sooner rather than later.

I am meeting B today.. After work... and I am telling Him I just can't do this.. I am not going to say the reason is Him and His inability to address the issues I am having because that's really only a tiny piece of the reason. The biggest reason is... I am just not ready. My heart is not healed. I don't think it's fair to myself or Him to jump into a relationship where emotionally He gives more than I can. I know He's attached, I know He has feelings and while I care for Him. I am not in love with Him.. My heart is still with my ex. I feel bad but I have to be honest. I only hope He isn't mad at me and understands. I have been honest from the beginning. I feel terrible..but I know it's the right thing. Sometimes doing the right thing isn't always easy.

Last night I took a really hot bath with my Lush bomb and then binge watched tv while soaking up cuddles with my puppy. When I came home yesterday he had a lot to say. He barked at me and jumped on me for a good solid 2 minutes lol. Don't think He appreciated me going away lol. He didn't leave my side all evening and I even let Him stay out of His crate at bed time and sleep with me and He was wedged against me all night if I moved, He moved closer lol

Guess I should go take the towel out of my hair and get my daughter off to school. I hope everyone has a wonderful day. ❤