finland

Things I can't say to M.N
2019-01-14 05:00:53 (UTC)

Tears

To: M.N
You cried today when I told you I had to leave you soon.
I thought I'd feel some sort of sick twisted pleasure from those tears.
But before I knew it, tears trickled out of my eyes too.
I guess your pain hurts me more than I can enjoy having some sort of hold over you.
I'm lying about everything you cry about.
I've never suffered like I told you I have.
Leaving you for a short time will just make you love me more.
I dangled so many promises in front of you for a reason. Telling you I gave my heart to you. Telling you that I'd give my body to you. Telling you can one day, you can have all of me. I said that all so that one day you can watch me get taken away by another man, and love me all the more for it.
Guys like you want a girl most when she's in bed with a man you hate, him tasting everything that belonged to you, and that you'll never get.
When they break your treasure forcefully, and you can only stand by and watch.
You're so intensely protective and territorial that someone else marking me as yours will tear you apart from the inside, and only make you want me more. Didn't you say before that it was like pearls before swine?
I want you to think about that every night when you can't sleep.
Think about another guy getting to touch every part of me you'll never savour, putting himself inside me and hearing the little gasps I'll make, but not because of you. I'll make sure he gets to taste every bit of me that you love so you can't have it.
Your tears that flow when I lie there broken, covered in his marks, will make me happier than your love does.
I'm a liar but you love me more for it,
R.Y




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