Canadian Cutie

Life through my spiritual eyes❤️
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2019-01-07 18:16:43 (UTC)

Between the pleasure and the pain..

Listening to: Not Strong Enough lyrics - Apocalyptica
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1MdOXtTlE3Y

You look in my eyes.
I'm stripped of my pride.
And my soul surrenders,
And you bring my heart to its knees.
And it's killin' me when you're away.
I wanna leave and I wanna stay.
And I'm so confused,
So hard to choose
Between the pleasure and the pain.


Was a good day, surprisingly flew by.. the trainee was so quick to learn, may be teaching me after awhile, haha.. Nice guy..very eager.. More training tomorrow then He's done from my shift and trains on another.

It was really bad driving in this morning. 30 minutes before I left for work a snowstorm hit. I had to clean my car off from what an hour ago, had none. It was windy too which isn't good for trying to maintain good hair lol. I managed to get that done then set off on my way. Before I even hit the end of my Avenue, Freezing rain decided to accompany the snow. Made for a really slick drive in, despite living 5 minutes from work it took me 20. Not bad.. got to work and in on time and that's stopping for my beloved Starbucks :D. I wasn't sure that I would be seeing my Sir after work due to the weather but He made it clear He wanted to see me..sweet.. So we met up as soon as I was done work and when I got into His car He just kissed me instantly and said "Damn, Ive been missing these lips, that smile, you" and kissed me again a few times..Then He pulled back sighed and put his head back on his headrest and said "You have a spell over me" and I laughed..It was quiet a few as He stared at me..My mind started spinning.. He kept asking me what was wrong as He rubbed my hand.. I kept saying nothing but He didn't buy it.. FInally I confessed what was on my mind.. He went quiet and I thought..uhohs I upset Him..He took my chin in His hand and said I know you been hurt and although I can't take that away, I can promise you I will do everything to heal your heart because I want it..completely..I got tears and He said I see the fear and pain in your eyes.. I won't ever give a reason for that to stay.. He said He knows I am not use to being able to express my feelings without fear of upsetting Him but I would see in time He wants to hear them, needs to hear them..I hugged Him then gave Him a kiss..We sat in His car for about 45 minutes but then He had to leave for a work conference call..well, He had to at the 30 minute mark but He didn't want me to leave so He was late taking it lol. He told me it gets harder to leave me and harder to go so long without seeing me. Felt nice to hear He is attached as He is. He kept saying "Friday"..."Friday I have you all to myself"...I kept saying "don'ttt, you are making me nervous" and He'd laugh and flash that sexy smile. I love how whenever I am around Him if I am upset or stressing He makes all ok, makes me feel cared for..takes my hand and holds it, kisses it or puts His hand in my hair..that is my weakness, odd time when He grabs it in His fist and pulls my head back and kisses me or my neck is a close second if not tie with first lol. I left and came home and I saw in my rear view He was still there, think taking His call. He leaves Wednesday morning and returns Thursday..

Tonight is still snowy and cold out, I am home in comfies and about to take a bath, seems to becoming a nightly ritual. My eating was spot on today. I wasn't really hungry today but I forced myself to have some veggies and dip for lunch, then I had some homemade soup I made for dinner. I am really tired tonight but The Bachelor Season Premiere is on tonight and it's a 3 hour one, I may get 2 hours of it and watch the rest in the morning.. This morning I watched some of my Chicago Beefcake's while getting ready for work. I still have more recorded :) But for now I should go, my puppy lost His ball under the sofa and He's about to have a nervous breakdown to get it back lol, puppy cuddles and dramatic reality tv on the agenda for tonight. Least it's on tv and not in my life, I like that life right now is calm, peaceful and I am content.. lol..please stay that way :)

Have a wonderful night all <3


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