Canadian Cutie

Life through my spiritual eyes❤️
2019-01-07 06:57:49 (UTC)

Wherever you will go..

Listening to: A podcast - Wherever you will go - The Calling

o0o it's almost 7am early lol.. I went to bed around 11 and I don't think I moved at all til my alarm went off at 4:45, I made it to the gym for 5 and worked out til 6, home..showered, usual routine. Now I am sitting here with a nightgown on and a towel on my head looking like Houdini! My tea is life this morning.. I took a sleeping pill last night so feeling groggy. Hopefully subsides but I think I need earlier bed time's.. this holiday season and all the stress I have been through has taken a bigger toll on my body and mind than I realized and I am just now discovering the amount of stress I was under as I see the clouds lifting.

I am starting this at home but will likely finish at work..Not sure what the day looks like yet aside from training. the new guy...could be the girl too, not sure which =/ I am still thinking adding my boss to my facebook as he requested is not a good idea, good to keep professional and personal separate and knowing my friends lol, not a good thing. He's a good guy and wants to be everyone's friend but I think that's just a little too personal.

I am loving this bdsm podcast I been listening to lately.. (If you are not into bdsm, you may want to skip this part and these are just MY views on bdsm, everyone has their own beliefs) One of the subjects I last listened to was on Consistency in bdsm..It was really good..They do amazing podcasts on their channel..I am a big believer in consistency in D/s.. . I think Consistency, Structure, Communication and Honesty are the biggest keys in bdsm. Submissives needs to know when life is chaos.. there is a calm, a consistent, safe place in her life. it’s easier to stay in the D/s headspace and have an idea of what to expect. Inconsistently giving consequences or praise can make your submissive feel off-balance. If you want your submissive to succeed and feel good about her submission, they need to know what to expect. When you’re consistent in your expectations and what happens when those expectations are met or not, your submissive can rise to meet the challenge. But if you’re constantly changing things up or randomly deciding something no longer matters, your submissive can’t meet your expectations because they don’t know what they are.. It may be the Dom's responsibility to keep the consistency ongoing but as a submissive it's our job to speak up if we feel that consistency sway. When a Dominant is consistent.. it builds stability. Structure is important to build trust. Structure builds expectations. If I know what He wants, I know how to give it. If I am not getting feedback or I find myself lost or getting in trouble and crossing the line or not meeting His expectations. I want to give Him what He wants but without clear instruction. I may fail. When you are consistent, your submissive will learn you and your likes and needs and can meet them. Many submissive's will internalize the inconsistency and think it’s their fault. Either way, it’s a storm of negative emotions and unhappiness in your D/s relationship. When you’re inconsistent in your D/s relationship, it’s almost impossible for the relationship to grow and become more than it is at the beginning. You get stuck in a cycle. Trust doesn’t develop. Communication falters. Feelings get hurt. Moving onto new and better stages of your relationship are almost impossible in these circumstances. But when you follow through, follow up, and show up for your D/s relationship, consistently, you’re both able to build something together. Sorry I rambled but through this research and writings I have done lately I am learning about my D/s relationships in the past and why we had a roller-coaster of good/bad days, why we "fell down the rabbit hole" and ultimately why we failed and what I need to do to grow in my submission.

I am surprised I was able to type all that being so tired and groggy, maybe this tea is helping lol. I did another tarot last night and it said that I would meet a Man, soon and it said specifically..he drives a Audi "In fact I can tell you that this car is definitely white" lol. Said to watch for a keyring with 4 circles.. (In my job that is possible) talk about specific lol.. It said despite not being ready for a relationship He will sweep me off my feet and be accepted by my social circle lol. Also said He will be older.. hmm My Sir drives a white car.. in same category of luxury of an Audi. He's older lol.. But it specifically says Audi so dunno lol. Ok need to go do my hair and makeup and ready for work... Will finish this later :)

It's later, 12:23pm but unfortunately I cannot write much more, it's kinda busy here and my trainee beat me here lol.. I am absolutely frozen as the doors keep opening.. I am seeing my Sir after work for a few. We have been texting off and on this morning..Meeting now so will go and update later :)

Hope everyone has a wonderful day