Scream Above the Sounds
'Leg Day' & Feelings
They say don't skip leg day, I don't ever want to do it ever again. I feel so sick, that must mean it's working though or something is happening/getting better, right? I hope so. My body isn't used to this and I really am struggling, it's a good kind of struggle though. I'm just going to keep logging everything and improving, who knows? Maybe I'll have the 'summer bod' everybody talks and strives for by the time summer actually rolls around, gotta dream a dream eh?
Today was :-
40 minute interval training
12.5KG goblet squats
Body weight lunges
10KG disc squats
Those goblet squats were an absolute killer, the lunges were no better either. When you've got legs like Peter Crouch and an ass like Kim Kardashian, things are hard, you know? I did my best though, hopefully it can only get easier. I have zero strength in my legs and I'm desperate to build that up (along with everything else). I'm very patient and for now, it's all about practising and getting the technique right. By no means am I going to get carried away with this, I'm going to be sensible, for once!
This next part is going to be a bit strange. I've touched on it a little before but not in great lengths, this may be the first and only time I will and that's because of a conversation that happened last night. There's a Californication quote that I really like that goes; "There's not a woman that I've met that I haven't fallen in love with, whether it was for 10 minutes or 10 years" and I feel that does ring true for me at times. Obviously an exaggeration, it isn't love but more of an infatuation, a longing for someone. I dunno, there are people that have caught my eye since I became single again. I'm still into one of my best friends a little, although I would never tell her or bring it up again. We wouldn't be good together anyway, I care about her a lot though. I just want the best for her. Lately something else has been happening though, it's hard for me to explain but I'll try. I don't want to get too much into it because this isn't really my story to tell but, she is having a major crush on me (which is mutual) and she finds herself coming to me more often than her boyfriend, because he is emotionally unavailable. I don't want to ruin anything for them because I know that she loves him and by no means do I plan on 'stealing' her and running off into the sunset. Nothing about this is easy because she doesn't live local to me either. I think it's just two people crushing really hard and her relationship straining because she isn't getting out what she puts in. It sucks, feelings suck sometimes. She's been really great for me the past two months and her happiness is important to me. I hope she finds it.
I have no plans for the rest of the night, I really need to tidy my room. It's been an absolute bombsite since New Years Eve, I still have a bottle of Sambuca next to my keyboard, It's almost tempting. I have shot glasses, bottles, plates, this room is a mess. I'll tidy up and then maybe play some video games if any of my friends are around. It's Man City/Liverpool tonight too, it's a huge game. I can't have Liverpool staying unbeaten all season, it's the only thing I have left to gloat about as an Arsenal fan! Liverpool staying unbeaten or even winning the league would ruin me! It's different with City, they've bought the league so many times, nobody cares now. I'm supposed to be watching a 'New Japan Pro Wrestling' pay-per-view tomorrow. NJPW is always great because their times work out so much better here in the UK, as opposed to WWE, which means I have to stay up from 12am-4am, which doesn't bother me THAT much because I'm a real night owl but it's nice to switch it up. So yeah, I'm going to a friends tomorrow at 8-9am to watch this pay-per-view and then hitting up the gym with my buddy at 1:30pm. My last weekend and then college starts up again on Tuesday!
Getting out more and being more social is going really well, I hope I can keep this up! I am more determined and hungrier than ever to do well. 2019, I'm coming for ya.
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