Canadian Cutie

Life through my spiritual eyes❤️
2019-01-03 08:42:38 (UTC)

Clarity and Peace..

I didn't sleep much last night so I woke fairly early and hit the gym.. Typical routine, now getting ready for work. I reached out to my ex. I sent a heart filled letter. I was seeking closure and well, I got it. It's what I needed. I can stop wondering and hoping and now just move forward. He wasn't mean.. In fact rather kind.. So I am ready to move forward, it's time. I wish Him well.. He just obviously wasn't my one. They say people come in your life to play parts and teach you things and I am a strong believer in that.

Ok, I am at work now. The above was written a few hours ago. I don't know what, if anything has changed since then but for the first time since my breakup I actually feel a huge weight is lifted. I feel a clarity and sense of peace for the first time in a long time. I feel like a switch has been hit and it doesn't hurt like it use to. I think the uncertainty of it was what caused the pain. Now that I have clarity and peace.. It really doesn't hurt as much.

I have still been texting with B, the Dom I mentioned in earlier posts. I have been honest with Him about everything. I have held nothing back.. Today I told Him about the closure. He asked a few questions and said He has always kept quiet about my past relationship but today He told me how He genuinely felt and I thought He would be mad but no, just the opposite. He asked me to continue speaking to Him and meeting Him like I have been. Mind you it's only been coffee's or just talks in the car but now He wants actual time with me. I told Him I felt like I would be using Him to move on. He said He didn't feel that way and that we have connected as friends prior to me gaining my closure.. I am debating, told Him I would answer Him by this afternoon as tomorrow is the only day I have off.

In other news I am changing my diary name here.. Just thinking of what..hmm, any ideas? Suggestions? I also deleted many of my older entries, when I first began this diary of when we were together. I am ready :) I am going to avoid or (try to avoid) speaking of my past relationship here now. He's not a factor in my life anymore and I am following my own advice which SS kindly pointed out to me yesterday..Positive thoughts out, positivity in return. You get from the universe what you put out into it. Thanks SS for the reminder.. Your friendship has been a god sent to me. Just wait, 2019 is our year :)

Well, I should get something done today..yeah right lol, maybe more karaoke or more Imbrandonferris videos lol. We are just so slow. Oh well, paid to do nothing.

Have a wonderful day all <3