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me and my life
New year with a glitch
Its a first day of the new year and all I'm doing is crying. i never thought that my marriage is going to take place in Bhopal fuckinh Bhopal the place which is not even known to me , also with my fake identity to fucking hide my caste and its been scheduled almost a year from now that's in November. All things are just opposite to what I didn't wanted every damn thing place date everything and all I feel to do is cry. and from my side no one is coming not my friends mu acquaintance not even my dad and if my sis ter is pregnant than not even her. I feel so terrible. God know what kind of ppl are going to be there ill b surrounded with all strangers god knows what kind of beauticians will be there. M feeling so miserable but i am helpless and m not happy about my own wedding but o told monku that ots a yes for everything you say coz i want to avoid arguing and fighting with you.
I have ro accept coz no matter what these things can not be changed just because they dnt want reveal my caste as its going to affect her sisters marriage. But the question is what if she does arrange marriage? What if she has a boyfriend now?
What worst thing can happen to me than this in my life.
But I'm helpless helpless never in my dreams thought that tjis would happen. Monku knew but he dint discuss and m upset on him for this. My tears are just rolling even thinking abt this.
On my most beautiful day of my life ill be not happy and the regret is going to glitch me forever but ill pretend happy for monku but he has yo know whats iny mind. Mom is not happy sis os not happy.
God pls do some miracle.
Monku never listen to me and never utter a word in front of his parents is also bothering me i dnt any kind of support from him in any family matters coz i have understood well that he will not and he cannot.
This is how my new year is going... It will take some days for me to digest the fact. Still the glitch will remain forever. today is a final meeting and m.afraid i might break down to see things happening exact opposite yo what i wanted.
This all had distrubed me alot. Crying is the escape.
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