Scream Above the Sounds
2018-12-31 01:15:20 (UTC)

New Years, Resolutions & Changes

This year has gone by SO fast, it's been unreal. It's the year I've felt the most sadness and pain, undoubtedly. I'm looking so forward to putting it behind me and finally move on. Accepting things for what they are has been incredibly tough and frustrating but I feel like I'm there, this time I'm not just saying it for the sake of it. I've never been one for 'New Years Resolutions' and stuff but I do want to make serious changes and prove to myself that I can do things and that I can change.

Eat cleaner
Get fitter/stronger
Find things that make you happy, even little things
Get out of the house more often
Play more sports
Spend more time with the family
Be open to meeting new people and potentially a relationship, but don't force it
Chase your dreams
Love yourself
Treat yourself with a bit of respect
Stop being so hard on yourself
Smile more
Push yourself
Try and be a better person
Never give up

They aren't even resolutions I suppose, just reminders of things that I need to do. I will probably pin this up on my wall or something. I don't know, I really want to be a better person. I absolutely hate the way I look, I grit my teeth when people call me attractive because I just can't believe it. It makes me feel really sad. I want to be fitter, I'm not saying I want to look like The Rock or anything like that but I would like a bit of muscle and to slim down. I think it would really help me with my confidence and my mental health generally.

I'm going running tomorrow, we're going at 2pm and then we're going every day for the rest of this week, followed by gym sessions back at my friends house. I feel pretty motivated, I'm just a bit worried that when he goes back to work on the boat at whatever location he's at next, I might slow down or get too demotivated to do it. Hopefully not. Aside from running, we're having a house party later in the night to celebrate new years, we do it every year. It'll be nice to be around people, I was really social last week, it was a nice change.

I hope everybody has the happiest of new years!


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