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2018-12-30 07:16:19 (UTC)

Next challenge

Well, New Years is coming. Since my breakup with my ex gf, I did good on previous events that I have to admit I was worried about. Thanksgiving, my birthday in Dec, Christmas, and now New Years. I'm a little worried that my ego will bubble up it's ugly face and send me memories or other negative thoughts and/or messages into my mind. I've learned a lot since my breakup so maybe I'm skilled enough to be able to go through this without a hitch.

Yet, New Years is a classic time to reflect on the past. Whether you like it or not, your mind will drift to the past so that you make your goals for the following year to improve yourself. That's normal. I just don't want to mess up all the hard work I put in my heart and soul to be that better person and to forget my ex gf. I take that back. I just want to be the person I used to already be. She wasn't the one. I know that. I know I realize I miss the routine of being with someone but not necessarily with my ex gf. I know that. Yet, I know that I am human.

The knowledge I've learned is still new. There is no practice first and give it a try. I learn and apply my newfound knowledge immediately. There are no training wheels. No coach to tell you you're doing it wrong. I have to just take off running. It's hard. I fall. Your friends think it's enough time already and I'm back to my normal self. Well, I'm not. I 'm trying and improving but I'm not out of the woods yet.

I am fortunate enough to have a new friend that understands me well. I'l just call her "M" for short. Maybe God knew I was taking too big a hit and he led her my way? I dunno but thank God I met her. You can never ever have too many friends. I've actually been lucky. I think I have a string of days of happy days for awhile now. Maybe an entire week? How often can I say that? :)

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