EchoSong14

My Memos To The Void
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2018-12-29 16:03:28 (UTC)

Heartbreak

I just... i always thought that the hardest thing in the world was finding someone to love, no that part is so easy, i have loved and loved and loved, and each time something pulls it out of my fingers, abuse, rape, alcohol, drugs, whatever you could think of... this time, this time it was literally god. im sick of losing people i love, im really really sick of it. I dont want to do this again, im tired of trusting and falling in love and getting hurt and every time feels worse than the last. i dont fucking CARE anymore. who FUCKING cares ? WHO FUCKING CARES? I DONT FUCKING CARE ANYMORE
I JUST AM SO FUCKING TIRED OF LOSING OVER AND OVER
IM TIRED OF HURTING
IM TIRED OF FUCKING SLEEPLESS NIGHTS
IM TIRED OF WANTING TO RUN AWAY
IM TIRED OF WANTING TO SLICE MY WRISTS OPEN AND BLEED OUT
IM TIRED OF WANTING TO DRIVE ON THE WRONG SIDE OF TRAFFIC
IM TIRED OF WORRYING WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO MY MOM
IM TIRED OF THINKING ABOUT HOW TO PIECE THINGS TOGETHER SO WHEN I LEAVE THERE WILL BE AS LITTLE PAIN AS POSSIBLE
I JOKED ABOUT NOT GETTING FLOWERS TIL I DIED
BUT DAMN DOESNT THAT SOUND REALISTIC RIGHT NOW ?
WHAT DOES IT TAKE
TO CONVENIENCE YOU
THAT YOU ARENT BAD FOR ME?
I WANTED A CONVERSATION AND YOU TURNED IT INTO THE VERY END OF WHAT I CARED ABOUT
I LITERALLY FEEL LIKE EVERYTHING I KNEW AND LOVED WAS RIPPED FROM UNDER MY FEET
I HURT IN SUCH AN UNCONTROLLABLE WAY
I WANT TO SCREAM
I WANT TO TEAR APART THIS ROOM WE BUILT OUR LOVE IN
IF MY BODY IS A TEMPLE I WANT TO BURN IT
IF THIS FLESH IS A PRISON I WILL ESCAPE
MY MIND HAS A NOOSE AROUND IT AND I
SWEAR
TO
GOD
I WILL FUCKING
LEAP


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