My Memos To The Void
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2018-12-28 06:30:48 (UTC)

Oh no

What have i gotten myself into?

there is a long story to tell and i suppose i should begin at the birthday party.

My best friend Tim, was turning 21... There was a big party, karaoke and music, alcohol and all other things involved. My mutual friend Jo was involved with this party and most certainly was part of the friend group. We were all very close, and the issue was that I had caught feelings for Jo. He would never know, I didn't want to admit it to anyone, especially not Tim.... But that night we decided to sing a love song together. We sang a poor duet, but i loved every moment of it, it was so fun. Fast forward two years and me and jo have continued talking, are very good friends, and have decided to start a campaign in dnd. I've dated my current boyfriend for about a year and a half and then Jo drunk texts me.

I could tell he was saying something along the lines of liking me since that song at the party... but i wasn't 100% sure and he wouldnt tell me.
Fast forward a few days...

curiosity killed the cat.

I had told him of my feelings whilst in a drunken daze, brushing it off as "back then i used to like you"
hiding the fact that i might like him now, but im not entirely sure. I have confused my feelings, i dont know if i have genuine interest in him or if im just curious to see if he still has feelings for me.
I play games where i want to know, and i want to know so bad ill make someone like me, just to hear them say it, once i know that they like me then i move on. Like a cat killing for sport, and just as harmful.

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