always wth love

Ad 2:
2018-12-26 10:08:46 (UTC)

Day after Xmas & (Hard to be heard with people)

I came back to say what the rest of December came in my life with soo much damn caution. I will tell you about that I have passed all my classes, which I was hesitated bout it. So I gotta say thank you to God because somehow I made it, I still don't whats my current gpa is but am good how the result came through... So am slowly gain my strength back with my birth mom theres things that cant really recovery yet, she knew it was overbearing to keeping speaking bout what has happened to me since the summer. Tbh! theres so much tension that cant find the words to how feel bout grandparents how they don't have any faith in me. Since reconnecting with my mom she says sorry how she left to version of my grandma personality that have been raised by my sis aunty. My birth mom wants me still try be an independent woman honest how can I do that without like her feelings don't damn matter so am constantly stuck in the middle . Does SORRY really make you feel better or just a lair? Hmm....So last night was Christmas and I start with my mom's husband two daughters (half-sisters) they came over on Christmas Eve, its while seen them both it was fun talking and watching a Christmas movie then watching Rocky II half on it & Rocky IV that later DRV it to watch it later. We went over to my mom's husband sister house where I used to go school for a year, tbh with you that was good school. Anyway her nieces and nephew are so fun to be around with and my half-sisters got to see them in first time, since they were babies I thought it was interesting to take in all. We watched the reaction what they got for Christmas it was magically and it brought out the most happiness that I had in my life at 24. They also have a small puppy named Reese it was so cute!!! that afternoon we came back home our uncle stopped by for some Christmas dinner it was fun having him back in for a bit...As for last night on Christmas my sis and her gf came over to celebrate Christmas with us and honestly it felt good seeing them both it was so many funny moments. Yesterday was a good day till got worse with in seconds and honestly I wasn't really surprised by it considering how much growth that I have made it hasn't really made a difference... I stopped thinking I would ever get better. So my sis is leaving for Army soon and that's three weeks away honestly she has been there for me soo much this year. I will be just fine, just gotta have faith and let GOD have me. Im going over to my sis apartment this Friday night honesty am try let anything effect me during my time wth them it quite a long time since ill see her again and her furr babies. I don't know what am looking forward to in the New Year because am OVER it believing it since the scars on me that left my question am a capable to be. Do I have the strength to do this to be independent woman wth my CP? Quite often I think it is possible and others days I believe what people think of me know who am then my own self could be... am hoping that God will directed me in the right direction for once. Quite a lot of my faves are coming back spring that cant wait to watch again in the spring. I hope everybody has a Happy New Year, see you in March. Stay Strong Always! Foreseen shadow