Canadian Cutie

Life through my spiritual eyes❤️
2018-12-25 09:19:16 (UTC)

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas! Hope the day is filled with fun, family, friends and love, be safe!

I have a few minutes before company arrives so relaxing with my tea before the chaos begins. I was thinking of my former and despite all we been through, I still love Him and I always will, I was hoping this Christmas would be a good one for Him so I went to send a Merry Christmas and realized..I was blocked. Well.. I was warned He'd hurt me..that He could be mean.. He warned me plenty of times but I thought He never would. Not sure why I thought I would be different, I thought what we had was different, incredible..as all I wanted to do was love Him and take care of Him. Sometimes I over spoke when I felt distance from Him but my heart was always in a good place..But..message received. I pray His Christmas gives Him plenty of reasons to smile.

I am grateful today..for the many blessings I have been given in 2019.. Many 1st's this year..It's my puppy's first birthday too, so He is getting lots of Christmas and birthday gifts..My other puppy will be spoiled as well..as is the rest of my family. The Dom I am speaking to B, messaged me to say Merry Christmas and He was thinking of me and would be all day. Was nice. I am afraid of the "too good to be true" when it comes to Him. I am scared..and I have told Him that..But He has said many times He'll never hurt me, more so after knowing how deeply I was hurt".. I want to trust it..but truth is I am SO guarded but in all honesty. I don't see myself hurting worse than I have been lately. He asked me to take the risk.. I do know I just can't dwell anymore and I need to keep moving forward... What's that quote? "there's a reason the windshield is bigger than the rearview mirror"

Ok...well..Family will be here any minute, and I am going to focus on that today and my many reasons to be blessed.. Ok, going to go ice the cinnamon rolls I made and put on the brightest smile.. I can do this.

Merry Christmas All!


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