Canadian Cutie

Life through my spiritual eyes❤️
2018-12-24 07:41:35 (UTC)

Heathens

Listening to: Heathens - 21 Pilots

It's just after 7am..I already hit the gym and it felt good.. I may be a bit masochist lol. I love the pain. Home, showered..tea...usual routine. I didn't sleep too well last night. I had a bad dream :( I tossed and turned a lot afterwards.. I fell back asleep around 4 til the alarm at 5. I have to work today, only a few hours..then let the festivities begin...not.. Really just want Christmas over and to get back to normal..whatever that's supposed to look like now. This new normalcy is setting in and I don't know how to live it. I have stopped checking my phone for messages, I have stopped jumping every time my kik goes off..I don't even look for Him online anymore. I don't want to know.. I am not sure what's going to happen with the new Dom B. He's really nice but I still feel owned by my former Dom..Never had this happen after a Ds relationship ended. I have been told by friends I need to move on..I am doing my best to move on like He's done. Oh I have to laugh..lol, the song called "Hate Me" by Blue October just came on..too funny (well, not really)
Today at work is going to be deadddd, Likely be surfing facebook and multiple other sites, texting ect lol. My boss isn't in so it will be very relaxed. Hopefully the day goes by quickly and takes Christmas with it lol.. I hate having to pretend I am ok... In all honesty.. I'm not ok.. I still feel owned, I still love Him..but I know I have to move on.. One of my resolutions is to stop dwelling on 2018. Make the best of 2019. When I set my mind on something..I achieve it. I have proven that multiple times in my life. Once my shift over today I don't work again til the 27th.
Well..off to put my face on and do my hair..hopefully the vanity gods play in my favor lol. Oh just in time.. "Here without you" by 3 doors down just came on lol. Going to be a fun day, must hit Starbucks first as I feel sleepy.. lol
Have a wonderful Christmas eve all <3


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