Canadian Cutie

Life through my spiritual eyes❤️
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2018-12-20 18:58:54 (UTC)

Pillowtalk *Updated

Listening to: Pillowtalk - Zayn

Today was a BUSY day. I am pooped.. But it was a good day :) I dropped my daughter off already for the weekend and now home but running out shortly again for a bit. Going to be another quiet weekend. I work tomorrow a few hours but otherwise off til Monday. I am officially done shopping. It was nuts out there today. I am happy to be done.

I have a lot on my mind. For once, something I haven't talked about here. At a crossroads in my life of sorts and I am trying to figure out the right path for me. I spoke with my best friend and another girlfriend and their advice has been helpful but still ultimately, the decision is mine to make. I am in a better place mentally and emotionally. I don't "check" my phone like I use to, only when I get notification of sorts or just playing on my phone, texting, talking ect.. I am still researching and writing in my submissive journal...I have made such strides I think. One of the things I wrote is a Ds "contract".. and another thing I wrote was an offer of submission... there was also one of all I did wrong in past Ds relationships why it was wrong and how it damages the relationships and how I need to work on them. Hell I am even writing a kink list lol. I think it's astounding to look back and realize your mistakes. Takes a lot to admit them and learn from them.. There's more written there but those are the key things. I think I am a far better submissive in the past few weeks than I have ever been. I have even started writing stories.. Literotica of sorts. I need to push myself to stay on my submissive journey despite not being owned. I want to feel my submission. I am how proud how far I have come these past two weeks and how much I have grown but mostly importantly. I am proud I can admit my downfalls and use them as a lesson to apply in my next Ds relationship :) I am worth it.

I was also told I should consider changing my diary name here.. by a reader... not yet.

Well..going to go touch up my makeup and change and head out... May write more later..depends when I get home.
Have a wonderful evening !

***Updated

*I found this poem today and it really resonated with me..

I do not want somebody to stand next to me because they are lonely;
I want someone to stand next to me because they couldn't imagine standing next to anyone else.

I am home! It's few hours later and now settled in, in my comfies with a hot tea. I know..big partier when my kid gone.. Not a partier, not even close.. I am a homebody although lately it's helping me to keep busy. I am currently listening to this one youtuber. Her an her Dominant run a youtube channel that they use for a podcast. The youtuber is "Loving bdsm".. I am currently listening to "How to feel Dominant or submissive when you are single." It is helping me still feel my submission, She has wonderful topics..I have binge watched her. She is so down to earth, as is He.. They address real Ds struggles and I have found it's helped me. it's a great source of information and struggles we face in the bdsm lifestyle. I am also working in my submissive journal in another tab. I wish I had done this growth a year ago.. but living is learning..and I am.. Well, off to listen to more, write more
Have a wonderful evening.


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